Struggling after loss 4 Months on

[mrsbyers]

Will try and keep it short

Lost dad in September and only now is it starting to hit , I think I was distracted by sorting out his estate etc and now that’s done it feels real if that makes sense ?

I’ve been under a lot of stress at work and coupled with usual
stress of two existing chronic health conditions and a lingering lurgy I hit a wall last week after a bad dream and was inconsolable - I emailed work and took 4 days off sick. I’m now faced with a decision on whether to get a further fit note - has anyone experienced this delayed grief ?

Currently I’m on loan to another civil service department and a permanent move is almost complete (that has taken months which has also added to stress) and I’m concerned that being off will jeopardise that too.

Not sure what I’m asking tbh but my husband isn’t great with emotional support and my mum will worry I’m going to be sacked as she’s an expert worrier.

What would you do ? Last week I felt so overwhelmed and last time I felt like that I ended up having a small stroke

Pause.

Establish a factual base - can you afford to take time off right now? If yes, do this for a short period. Then review.

You cannot climb the mountain if injured. Nothing that is past matters (no job / department change / whatever).

You’re having the reaction that you’re having. Don’t over analyse it.

Regroup and then go forwards.

Firstly let me say I'm sorry for your loss, I lost my dad last April and yes experienced periods like you describe. Grief is personal no 2 people experience it the same way. I suspect you have been busy and may not have taken the time to properly process how you feel about losing your dad. For me work was secondary I took the time I felt I needed, get in touch with either your GP or most CS depts have done kind of workplace wellness scheme and arrange some grief counselling. Explain this to your LM who should offer aforementioned scheme as well and take some time off you need it.

Should of said I'm a civil servant as well

Of course, you should ask for a fit note. Get signed off and look after yourself.

Thanks everyone , after reading your replies I had decided to speak to doctor and then I got a message from my boss saying for me to call her tomorrow from the ‘office’or on her mobile if I wanted to take more time off and I’ve become really anxious about taking more time off. It’s a non issue for tomorrow as I need to find a dentist for emergency tooth extraction , I have been grinding : clenching due to stress ? And need a molar removing - I’ve just not been looking after myself very well at all recently