Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Pitying comments-how to deal with them

1 reply

OnthePiste · 10/01/2023 18:21

I have recently lost my DM (89). She was daignosed with Alzheimers 2 years ago and I have had a pretty stressful time looking after her and dealing with her life admin, care home admission etc. My sister died 3 years ago so it has just been me caring for her. During the time I between my Dsis dying and mum's death, certain well meaning people seem to constantly make pitying remarks like "oh it must be so hard for you as you don't have your sister to help you" etc which I found bizarre as do I really need reminding that my sister has died?!

Well you can imagine what it is like now, so many friends have made similar comments of how awful it must be for me not having anyone to help me organise the funeral service, how I must wish my Dsis was here to help. I just don't know why people say these things, are they just thinking aloud or do they really think this pity helps?? Because it doesn't! I am just ignoring these comments but I can see me biting someones head off soon-any suggestions on how to respond?

OP posts:
ClaudiusTheGod · 10/01/2023 19:05

They’re trying to acknowledge your difficulties and sympathise with you, not remind you that your sister isn’t here. Just say ‘thank you for thinking of me’.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page