My beloved Gran passed away yesterday morning, and it's hit me hard. She'd suffered with respiratory illnesses (including lung cancer) for years, so we knew this was coming eventually, but it's even harder than I imagined.
I hadn't seen her since before Covid- she was obviously CEV and my Gramps had only just recovered from prostate cancer, and I was so scared to visit and infect them. They also live on the opposite side of the country.
She went in to hospital a few days before Christmas, I was visiting the area and wanted to visit her, but was discouraged due her being on an influenza ward. Now I'm so scared that she felt I didn't care or love her.
I even feel guilt that she never got to meet a great-grandchild- I am their eldest GC and married in early 2019, but my husband and I have struggled to conceive. My younger sister is 22 weeks pregnant, so she just missed out.
She was warm and generous and sparkling, she lit up the room, and she kept her unparalleled sense of humour to the end. Her and my Grampy were a proper love story.
I can't believe she's really gone, that I'll never get to see her again.
Does it get easier?