I hate Christmas without my mum

[CalloohCallayFrabjousDay]

And she didn't even really like Christmas much herself!

My partner is away with his Dd, I'm at home with my dd and dad. I just hate it. I made an effort to buy nice gifts for my dad. He didn't like them. He gave me some money. My daughter brought me a couple of small gifts herself, but my dad should have given her some money to buy me something.

Without my mum here it's like I don't see the point. I've brought nice food, but my dad moaned. He's just put a huge lump of meat in the oven that's enough to feed about twenty (that should have been cut in half at least!) for two people. And my daughter isn't even going to be here tomorrow so it's just going to be him for today and tomorrow.

You do seem to think of how other people should react and when they don't it's like an insult.
Your dad didn't like his gifts did you ask him what he wanted? That will take away his reaction that you don't like.

You could have given your DD money to get you something. Did you talk to your partner - does he know you have this expectation of him?

When I ask my dad what he wants I always get it for him, then he moans and never uses it. I really don't know why I bother. Since my mum died he's so horrible, she kept him under control! He just doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. He's always had my mum there to sort out Christmas and birthdays etc, but I shouldn't have to tell him to help his granddaughter to buy a present for her mum! Not when he buys presents for other people and never for me.
I cant deny my partner Xmas with his daughter, she lives hours away, so we've never had a Xmas together. We don't live together yet, stuck at home caring for my dad.

Unfortunately your Dad sounds like mine. Mum kept him under control, as you say, until she suffered a series of strokes and then we saw his true colours. My sister and I lost Mum in May so this was our first Xmas without her. We knew sitting with him would be awful so went away and had a great time. No nonsense re food, tree, presents. It was really relaxing.

Got back yesterday and not even a phone call so glad we made this decision and guess what, we are doing the same next year!!