That feeling of "I'll never get to speak to them again"

[iiojdasdewe]

Does it fade with time? She was young, only just becoming an adult, and there are so many things I wish I had said. It's been nearly a year now but I still feel so sick whenever I think about the fact that I'll never get to say those things. Like, really never.

Oh I know too well what you mean after losing my mum two years ago unexpectedly. The last time I spoke to her she was in hospital, but we all expected her to return home safely, snd I was changing my newborn’s nappy. I rushed the conversation along, told her I loved her and said bye. I got to see her in hospital but by that time she was out of it and was suffering from brain damage. Still to this day it hits me like a tonne of bricks unexpectedly that I’ll never get to tell her about her much wanted grandchild or how much I understand her difficulties now and our differences. Even typing this out, the tears just flow and flow.

it does get less frequent but it doesn’t get easier if you know what I mean - my experience anyway.

It gets less frequent but when it comes, I think it remains as intense.