My cousin's baby was stillborn at 24 wks, please help me find the right words.

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

They were so excited about this baby. she went into hospital with pre-eclampsia and they had to deliver the baby because her organs were failing.
we had such hope that the wee boy would be ok, but he was stillborn.
i just don't know what to say/do. they're in canada we're in uk so we can't offer anything more than words. but everything seems wrong. please help.

How desperately sad. I am really not sure how you can help - I am sure words are enough right now - send a card and / or flower. Praying for them. xx

but what do I say?

Couldn't read and not respond. I am so sorry for their loss . My first baby, a boy, was stillborn at 32 weeks. It was 6 years ago and I have since had another ds and a dd. I would say just saying how sorry you are, and asking about the baby- did they see him, have they chosen a name, does she want anyone else to see him, when is his funeral. That prob sounds blunt, but he did and does exist for them and amidst the grief they probably just want to talk about him, as you would about any baby. If this isn't what they want they will tell you, but will appreciate you asking, rather than just saying nothing as a lot of people do. I came home from hospital and literally sat down and searched the internet for support groups and found two invaluable ones which I am still part of today. They feel like they will hurt like this forever, and all they can do is try to draw strength from one another to get through these worst dark days. Hope this helps, please ask if I can do anything, web addresses etc. x

Tell her that you are there for her at any time.
Offer to help with the practicalities ie: if they want a funeral, telling other people about their loss, making a book of remembrance.

Most importantly, be there for her in a few weeks, when everyone else has gone back to their normal lives, and she may be struggling.

I am so sorry for you all, it is a terrible thing to have to go through.

I am so sorry to hear about your cousins loss.

I completely agree with the earlier posts on here. The best thing you can do is to ask your cousin about her lovely angel in heaven.

I wouldnt worry about finding the right words, the family will just be pleased to hear that you care

If you want more help on what to say or do you could try here

www.uk-sands.org.uk.

on the publications page you will see they produce a leaflet with advice for friends and relatives of the bereaved

hope this helps