My mum late 60s. Moved back to U.K. with dad to be near my brother 4 weeks ago. I live 4 hours away. she died a few hours ago.
I got a message from my dad saying she was in hospital at 4pm. All ok. Couldn’t get hold of him so called my brother. Told mum had a chest infection so she was taken to a ward for treatment. My dad called back. Told me my mum had a touch of flu past few days and wanted to rest. This morning he called an ambulance as she very tired and her breathing sounded bad. She was ruched through and ended up in intensive care getting treatment. No need to come.
5pm the doctor phoned me to say my mum has pneumonia and they need to but her into an induced coma as she is struggling to breath. Best to do will help fight infection. I need to FaceTime her to see her awake and talk to her. FaceTimed and she looked really I’ll. she couldn’t talk. Told her I loved her she said she loved me too. Had to go as she was getting worse.
7pm my brother called to say she is under but they are struggling with her heart. They have called specialised from another hospital to use a special machine. 9pm I call my brother to say I am coming down in the morning. Train strikes mean i have to drive. Just finished a night shift at 6am that morning and didn’t feel safe and my partner will bring me.
They were told to go home. 11.10pm I get a FaceTime from my brother saying mum is dying and to stay on. He has just arrived at the hospital. He let me see her as I was telling him and my dad to hold her, let me tell her I love her. She died very soon after - I watched this on FaceTime. Unsure if she had died, but guessed with everyone’s faces. I was so confused as it happened so quickly.
debrief with dr after all done on FaceTime. She died of sepsis. They promptly started treatment. But she had gone into organ failure that morning at home. Too late.
I feel numb and shocked. Especially as I saw this via FaceTime. Was only 7 hrs of being aware and most of that was being told to hold on coming down as she will be ok. Feel bad as not seen her since September. I was going down at Xmas for a week. She told me to wait till her new flat was sorted. Only moved in 10 days ago. not seen her much due to covid and life etc.
Spoke to my dad after and got told she had COPD and didn’t want to say. Had a serious of infections in the past 6 months and said to my dad she was fed up fighting them as they were getting worse. said she thinks the next one will kill her. She was right.
I am leaving in the morning as the dr said nothing I can do. My dad is with my brother. I want to see my mum. But may not have staff to allow this tomorrow.
Cant cry or sleep think in shock. My partner came over and has taken the next few days off work to be with me. My family haven’t met him yet. I am on the sofa and he is in bed as I don’t want to disturb him as he is driving 4 hrs for me tomorrow and needs the rest.
what happens next. My mum doesn’t want a funeral and their friends are all over in different countries. My mum retired in October and bought a flat to be beside her grandkids. She got a few weeks there. No idea if the cold did as tye heating had broken so using temp heaters or stress of moving. At least she died in this country. But a few weeks of coming back. Still in shock and guilty I am not there. What happens next? We were having a family Christmas first in 3 years.