Surviving Christmas newly bereaved.

[AnSionnachGlic]

My mum passed away last month and I'm really dreading Christmas. I have 4 older kids 15 yrs -21 yrs who really miss their Gran as she lived next door to us. We are all still reeling from her death and feel there is a big hole in our family. We are normally a family who really love Christmas and usually go all out with decorations and parties but this year I feel flat! How can I get through the next few weeks
and be there for my family ,without falling apart completely . It really is so difficult.

Sorry for your loss op.
This was me last year, All I can say is it was a much better Christmas than I thought it would be, we booked a pub for Christmas lunch, and had a lovely walk before hand. My dc are younger (11 & 10) but we'd warned them it was going to be different from the previous year, and it would be very simple. We didn't bother much with presents, but the dc loved having a pub lunch. This year we're back to 'normal'.
I think the first year of bereavement is the hardest, but it does get easier, although sometime the sadness seems to come out of nowhere, and seems all encompassing, but lifts quicker each time it descends.

Dad died earlier this year & was in hospital at Christmas time last year. It’s not going to be easy but we are a resilient family as well.

May see if mum wants to stay Christmas Eve but we are out in the evening so she’ll still be on her own. But she’ll be here or at my sisters in the day ‘helping’ us prepare.

We are at my sisters for the big day with her inlaws & a new baby on their side so that will be lovely. I like that a new life will be there to take the place of the older one.

Im hosting Boxing Day as dcs birthday so we are all occupied over festive period. Sil big 50th bash on 27 or 28th so lots to keep busy. I think that’s key actually.

Take the loss as an perfect reason to ditch any part of an ritual that you really don't enjoy. Do anything that brings you any comfort.

In future years, remember which were which and adjust accordingly.