Cousins baby born at 28wks, died 18 hours after.

[kirstylou]

Hi, I have just found out that my cousin went into early labour yesterday and the little girl died 18 hours after, I really want to go and give her some support but she lives 120 miles away which isn't a problem. the only problem is, is that I would have to take my children and my youngest is 4 months old so I don't know what to do as I don't want to rub it in her face by taking my little one along

she gave birth at 28wks so baby needed tranferring to sheffield heart and lung hospital

so sorry to hear this kirstylou.

I have no experience of this so maybe someone will come along who has. How soon were you thinking of going? Maybe she needs a bit more time before you offer to go and stay with her.

Lots of love to you and your family xx

OH how awful, I am so sorry,
This happened to one of my best friends, she had her baby girl at 26 weeks and she dies just over an hour later, I didnt know what to do or say either.

Maybe taking a 4 month old would be a bit too hard for her right now but make sure she knows you are there and want to go to her, but for understandable reasons think its not appropriate.
Its so horrible isn't it, I remember I burst into tears when I found out about my friend, I had just had a baby too and we were so looking forward to having babies together and I didn't quite know what to do or say

can you send a beautiful card and a box for keepsakes? if you say that you are terribly sorry and you want to support her in any way you can, and that you will totally be led by her? anyway, a voice on the end of the phone is lovely when you need it, you could be that.

Yes, do send her a card and ring her. I agree about not taking your baby to see her. I am so sorry to read this.

from my experience, I know my friend preffered to talk about her daughter after initla shock and bereavement, and hated it when people avoided the sunject, I also know she said after a few weeks/months people stopped talking about her as if it was 'all over now' and she said it would never be 'all over' as she is still her child, dead or alive.
She now has a healthy son a few years later but has dd photo's clearly on display and goes regularly to her grave and talks about her fairly often.

Thanks for your comments, me and my cousin are very close, I feel so sad for her so I can't even start to imagine how she is feeling. I know taking my youngest son would be heartbreaking for her to see that's why I wanted some advice really.

so sorry i would send her a card and phone,and agree it will be hard seeing another baby at moment,saying that some people avoid me now still who had children same time as my grandson as they think it will make me remember him, do they think you just forget,do remember the lost angels they are still our family. thinking of youxxx