My ex has died

[myexhasdied]

I was with him 20 years from when I 16, separated 9 years. He died last weekend. I really feel for my kids but not sure what I feel. I am annoyed I'll never know the reason why he did some things that he did. My son, who was with him the last few months said he had no regrets and that's pissed me right off.

I don't know? Am I being a twat and making it about me when I should be over him?

Assuming you're not mulling these thoughts over with your kids, then there's no right or wrong way to react at this stage. Bear in mind some people just never can admit they have acted badly, that's on them, don't let it plague you.

No it's all in my head. I guess I just have to process it.

Grief does odd things. There's no right or wrong as long as you don't hurt anyone else's feelings.

When my df died, I was furious because I hadn't plucked up the courage to tell him to his face what a complete bastard he was.
After a week, I was glad I hadn't because it would only have given him more satisfaction. Stupid really.

Yanbu, let all those emotions out, acknowledge them, accept them and then move on. I'm sorry for your loss x

It would be normal
to tell your kids you have no regrets at the end, to make them feel ok about the life their father lived. Likely that he did though , and would have been kinder if he could have changed things.