I've just been through this myself and these are my thoughts that may help you @lollipoprainbow .
Think of it like this. Imagine the only record of your mother existing in history is what you say (or what the celebrant reads) in the eulogy. What would you want it to record? What would she want it to record of her and her life?
For me, I thought about things like her achievements throughout the different periods in life (whether professional (work sense or at school) or personal (hobbies, interests, volunteering), who she was and her 'achievements' in those roles (mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, granddaughter, grand mother etc); and who she was as a person (her personality and attributes). Her personality is probably where you will find there maybe some funny stories or anecdotes about her that reflect who she was.
And then finally (but this may not suit you) what I wanted to record or say to her publicly of my feelings and her relatives feelings for her.
For parts of mine I wrote it as if I was speaking to her - love you, thank you and that type of thing.
I was really stressing about whether to read it or not. The celebrant was very relaxed about it and said to just send him a copy in advance and that I could decide on the day whether to read it or not. He also said, if you start and can't go on he would take over if necessary.
In the end I did read it mostly propelled by a fear that I might regret it for the rest of my life and feel like I'd let down my mother if I didn't. This is a ridiculous feeling and I'm only writing it here because it may help you or others to know someone else felt this. My mother would have laughed at this very idea! Like all mothers, she'd just want you to do what was right for you.
I was a bit teary in parts but I did read it all and now its over I'm very glad I did. If you are thinking of reading it yourself I'd have two bits of advice
- one piece of advice is something I read somewhere years ago which is to practice it and practice it out loud until you are almost sick of saying it. It helps to lay a foundation of muscle memory and you realise which are the bits that particularly get to you.
*don't worry about getting upset or crying when you are there reading. It's normal and people expect it. It's not likely that you will be in such a state that you can't be understood - most people can be understood through flowing tears even if it comes to that - and if you need to pause for breath that is fine. If you want to try to read, don't let the fear of tears put you off. Having done it, if you were anything like me and worried about how you'd feel afterwards if you didn't do it, I would definitely give it a try and make an arrangement with the celebrant to take over if necessary which gives you confidence. Like I said - it's fine to read or not read - and I'm only including this in case it helps anyone else.
I'm very sorry for your loss and you have my deepest condolences. I don't really want to leave in a world without my mother and I'm still struggling to face this reality. Death is shit and it is a day at a time job.