Today I really, REALLY miss my husband

[bloodywhitecat]

It's been 7 months. His cancer was cruel but the fact he then had a massive stroke was even more cruel. This week is particularly hard as I am saying "Cheerio" to a very special person who is moving away to his new family which is wonderful and exciting but hard. Sometimes I don't want to adult any more. Sometimes I wish I had a parent to fall back on but dad is dead and my mother is too damaged.

So sorry that you're struggling OP. 7 months isn't long and you are still obviously grieving. Please be kind to yourself .

I wish I had some wise words to make you feel better but all I can do is send you a virtual hug.

I’m really sorry to hear this, it sounds incredibly hard. I followed your journey from when your husband first got diagnosed. You have been very strong and patient.

Grief is a journey, some days are hard, some are easier and some are incredibly difficult. I can’t imagine what it’s like, but any kind of goodbye always compounds the grief and reminds you of what used to be. Change is hard, and I hope everything works out with this special person and their new family.

It’s not easy to have anybody in your family to lean on, but continue to talk on here and we’ll do our best to listen to you.

Take care

Another who has followed your story. If there were any words that could help you would have heard them by now.. I wish there were.

Will another fosterling join you?

Being able to write it down helps. Thank you all

There will be more little feet in the house, I am having a week off to see my son then coming home to clear some things. There is a walk in cupboard full of all the reminders of DH at his sickest, I am ready to clear it and I am hoping to get a few days to decorate my fostering bedroom before my next small person arrives.

Is there someone to help you empty the cupboard? I'm imagining it may be stuff you needed to nurse him during his time at home, but if it's too personal maybe not.

Good to hear you're continuing with the fostering.. I imagine it's very difficult but very rewarding.

Hope this feeling down patch doesn't last long, and you feel a little more upbeat soon. You do so well x

X

I also followed your journey and remember discussing wedding dresses with you
it’s very hard , treat yourself kindly and gently , and lean on mumsnet friends , if it helps x

I'm so sorry your struggling today
Grief has no timetable and the first year is the toughest and most raw
In time you'll be able to smile about your life with DH rather than feel such pain
You are an Amazing lady, treat yourself kindly and maybe ask for help going through the clearing out, but 7 months is still early days, and just because your head says "ready"
Your heart may not be just yet.
I hope your new fosterling brings you joyful times.

I know what you mean. I wish I had someone to look after me as well. But there is no one - and so I carry on looking after everyone else so that they don't have to feel what I feel.

Sending you a big hug x