How to speak to 3 y/o DD about her late grandad

[Jellyfishguilt]

My DF died of cancer in 2015.
I mention him to my 3 y/o DD - telling her ‘I used to like going swimming with my daddy,’ and ‘your grandad would have thought you were very funny’ - that kind of thing. But I’ve never explicitly explained where he is.
she has grannies and grandad/step-grandad on my partner’s side.
I’m wary of using euphemisms around death, but I also don’t want to scare her.
How can I keep my DF’s memory alive for her?

My DH died recently and when I unsure of how to talk about him around our fosterling (2 years old) so I contacted Winston's Wish and they gave me some fantastic advice, I would recommend speaking to them. they advised using the words "dead" and "died" rather than "gone" "passed away" etc. They sent me a book around talking to children under 5 about death and dying.

So sorry for your loss. I will contact them, thank you

There's also a wonderful book called Badgers Parting Gifts. It's focus is on remembering the happy times with their friend badger and not dwelling on the sadness that they miss him.

That book looks lovely, thank you.

I guess I’m sometimes stuck on how to approach a conversation about him, as she never met him :(

I would just talk about him normally & often. Show her photos, explain who he is, but that he died before she was born.

While she won't know him directly, she'll grow up knowing about him & who he was & that he was important to you.

Do you have photos of him? If you do you could make up a photo book that shows some of the memories you have of him and talk with her about him that way.

My mum and dad both died when I was pregnant with my daughter. She's 4 now. She recognises photos of them, and knows they have died. I've talked about them since she was little. Just age appropriate - They died.

Definitely use direct language rather than a euphemism. My FIL died unexpectedly in March. We had about 5 days warning so I tried to prepare our 5yo and explained what death was as best I could and she was sad about it. After he died my husband understandably wanted to be the one that told her, he said to her that we needed to talk (& she gave us her full attention) said that Papa had "passed away" and to our surprise she just nodded and started playing again. The next time we saw my MIL couple days later our 5yo asked where Papa was because his chair was empty (which was upsetting for MIL although she handled it well). I said to 5yo that Papa had died and she burst into tears. She hadn't understood. Much better to be direct. Show photos and share memories x

Thank you for all of these suggestions, much appreciated. I’m very sorry for your losses