Bad few days. Suggestions for quick win to feel better? Not alcohol

[Siblingo2]

I;ve had a really v bad few days. Feel like I want to die - not active suicidal but just dont want to live in this new world without my mother. Whats the point.

Was trying to distract myself by looking for something on line to buy to cheer myself. I know nothing will really but trying for distraction. Sadly couldn't find anything I wanted or was interested in.

Already have too many books I want to read gathering dust
Already have alcohol and drinking too much anyway in the evening.
Nice food doesn't really appeal. Was hopeful of a F&M style hamper being cheering but no.
Not interested in candles, perfumes, lotions or and spa stuff.
Too fat for clothes.

I think it maybe a reflection of my bereaved state but nothing holds any appeal or joy. There must be something I can buy from my bedroom...

Any ideas?

I’m sorry for your loss

New bedding? There’s something about a crisp new duvet set and pillowcases to slide into at the end of a hard day.

Photo frame, either a static one or a digital for pictures of your mum.
Some flowers for yourself because you are worth it.
Some bulbs and a lovely pot to plant for next spring to remind yourself that life comes in cycles of death and rebirth.
Nail Polish because it is totally unnecessary so defines a real treat, choose an outrageous colour that would have made your mum laugh.

It's clichéd, but getting out of the house has been really helpful to me. Maybe only relevant if you're nature inclined, but in case it helps... Find a park or garden or street corner bench or cafe, and just sit and watch and listen to what is going on around you. Observe what you wouldn't normally notice, and appreciate the beauty in the rain or the autumn colours. I've found it very calming and internally share my observations with my Dad. (Also, copious amounts of chocolate)

Could you face enough exercise that you'd be knackered going to sleep? That in itself might not seem like a luxury. Or just wallow? I reckon that's allowed.

What did your mum like? What makes you think of her? Is there a house plant that would make you think of her when you look at it? Could you find a really happy picture of her and buy a frame for it?

I was given a photo of my mum laughing. Seeing it every day reminded me of the many brilliant, funny, silly times we had, not just the sense of loss I felt. Maybe that might help you too?

I'm very sorry fr your loss.

I would suggest go for a walk with a friend. Can be organised from your bedroom. Destination cafe or pub of your choice. Pick an easy route with pleasing views.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my mum decades before her time a while back. I vividly remember feeling as you did. I took myself off to a quiet beach near me and walked, walked and walked some more then I just sobbed my heart out. It gave me a cracking headache but it helped soothe the hurt a little. Just be gentle with yourself and keep on keeping on, a day at a time.

I won't say it gets better, because it never can, but it hurts less often over the years.

God I'm in a bad way.

Just all of you strangers taking the time to reply to me so thoughtfully has made me cry. Thank you for your kindnesses.

@viques lovely suggestion of a digital photoframe for pictures of my mother really set me off

Sitting here with tears running down my face.

How long has it been, OP? It's such a hard loss, I do send my sympathy

I remembered another thing that helped me - on occasions like Christmas, her birthday, mother's day etc, I'd spend time resreaching local charities I thought would appeal to her, and donate what I'd have spent on a gift in her name. It didn't matter if the cause wasn't a priority for me, it was choosing something for Mum.

I know it's daft, but I really like thinking she's still making the world better even though she's gone.

I'm a big proponent of a massage or something similar as a soothing self care activity. I went for several when my marriage broke down and often embedded up in tears but it was very healing. Sending you lots of love

Sorry you are in pain OP, bereavement is very tough I know. Whenever I feel low, I just want to be by the the sea, I find it soothing, a walk on a beach helps me.

I’m really sorry - it’s so awful. When my mum was dying the only thing that really helped was exercising and I made myself go for running even though didn’t feel like it. Maybe a walk with headphones and an audio book if you don’t like running?

Im sorry for your loss
How about a random craft set? (I’m not crafty but found gem art and cross stitch strangely soothing when my dad died) Otherwise a massage or facial is good self-care which requires minimal effort.

I love the homeopath.

It's someone who cares about the nuances that no one else sees.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm chronically ill so spend a lot of time in my bed. When I'm depressed by this- not for a second saying it's the same, but when I'm down- my lovely Ian Snow quilt cheers me up. Also practical in these times of expensive heating too as it's another layer on your bed.

They are a bit pricy but they're sustainably and ethically made and there are some good ones on sale right now. They're all here.

Sorry for your loss. Tears aren't always bad, better than bottling up that raw emotion.

Something to buy, a snuggly throw/blanket in your mum's favourite colour to give you a cosy hug and a good film/series to make you smile.

Take care of you