It's my MIL funeral tomorrow

[year3k]

She was young, took her own life. Wtf.

DH is struggling, FIL is a mess, SIL has far too much shit going on to even begin to grieve.
My heart is shattered.
I have to do it but I really don't fucking want to.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I hope you can get through the day.

Thank you

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the rest of your family.
Tomorrow won't be the end of your grief, but it will be the beginning of the end.

Oh I really hope so. Me and DH were so strong at the beginning of this but the last few days we are taking everything out on each other.
It's his DM, as he says, the person who gave him his name. I don't feel like I can feel the level of pain they do but it's an horrendous amount of pain.
I'm angry and exhausted and I just want to wake up from this nightmare.

FIL went to see her at the chapel of rest for one last time. He told her it was her last chance to wake up. My heart is broken.

Sending big hugs 💐

I can hear your pain. Death by suicide adds such an indescribable additional burden of pain and confusion. Be kind to each other.

I am so sorry for your loss 💕

I didn't want to read and run. My sincere condolences for your loss. It's always sad when someone passes away young but it's even more horrific under those circumstances.

I speak from experience when I say it takes a long time to get your head around it. In fact I don't think you ever fully can comprehend it. But it does get easier to accept it even if you don't understand it.

Right now it will just feel like a nightmare and that's ok. You do whatever you need to do to get you, your DH and the rest of your family through the early days. Take each day as it comes. It's very true that there is a process of grief; expect to get angry, really angry. It's all perfectly normal.

A massive hand hold to you and your family. I'll be thinking about you all tomorrow. 💐

I'm so sorry. What a terrible loss.

This won't help you today, but I hope it might on Saturday. The day after the funeral can feel worse than the day off the funeral. I think it's better to be warned.

But overall, month by month, the pain becomes more bearable. And then it becomes a sort of weight that's attached to your happiness, which you wouldn't want to shed entirely because it's a mark of your love.

I hope tomorrow brings some comfort.

I am so sorry for your family's loss

Sincerest condolences

Thank you all

I have so many regrets, it's all pointless but a part of me doesn't believe this is the end.

I don't know what I believe, probably just science but I just wish she knows we love her, yet with all that love she doesn't have regrets.

I dunno. I rambling. I can't think straight I just feel sick

I am sorry. A family member of mine took her own life, a mother of two young children. Decades later, it reverberates; but it is better. It isn't the sort of loss that can be soothed by time. No loss ever truly is -but a death by suicide is so very very particularly difficult.
The only thing I can say is that you need to steel yourself, find and use accept every and any coping mechanism, rely on all your support, accept all the help offered, medical, emotional, practical, financial, social, anything that can hold you up, take it and use it. My love and best wishes to you all.

I'm so sorry for your huge loss. My thoughts are with you

@FriedasCarLoad ❤️ I absolutely agree with every word you said. Beautifully put and such a poignant message that those we love may be gone but never forgotten, because we carry them with us.

Thank you.

Could you please help me understand why Saturday will be harder. I do like to be prepared so any information helps

I would echo that the day after is harder. It was for me.

The day itself is busy, people around you, activities to be done, word to say, tears to keep away at the funeral (I cry lots and so came armed with methods of holding it together)

The day after, everyone seems to have moved on. You wake up and there's nothing there, no plans or busyness, just your grief which hasn't faded but somehow it felt as if the mourning phase was meant to be over and life was back normal. But it wasn't

I was sadder in the days after the funeral than the days before.

It might be very different for you, and there is a relief in the funeral, and it's completion. You might not feel the same way.

I sincerely wish you all the best. It must be terribly hard trying to hold it all together for everyone else. Do take time yourself if you can

@year3k think of you all today. ❤️

Thinking of you today.

Hope today goes well. I would recommend the SOBS website for people who have lost someone to suicide, it really is a different kind of grief x

Suicide is such a hard thing to come to terms with, I’ve been in a similar position to where you are now and it was mentally very hard to get through and put a shadow over everything. The only think I can advise is to be kind to yourself as well as to those around you and remember that mental illness is a disease like any other, it’s no one’s fault.

I'm really sorry I didn't see this earlier. I hope today has been - well, not as awful as it could have been.

I think lots of people feel buoyed and supported by the outpouring of love at the funeral, and then feel more deflated and alone the following day.

I hope it hasn't been that way for you. Wishing you the very best as you start to heal and recover.

I hope you’re ok xxx