What my sister in law said to mel

[Uzzello]

Hi everyone , am I still being over sensitive ? 50 years ago my beautiful baby died when I was 7 months pregnant, yes as in those days we “had to get married “ my sister in law , who was my husbands brothers wife came into the hospital when I had to go back in after the horrendous birth because I had a bad infection that was causing me terrible pain that had taken endless time and doctors to see me before I was admitted back to hospital and given the right antibiotic to kill the infection , so when I was in the hospital ward she said to me , and I quote, it’s better your baby died than mine because we planed for ours , I was a very innocent 18 year old who wouldn’t say anything, but even after 50 years (I’m now 68 ) can’t forgive her , but should I , I would appreciate an answer as to what you would feel , thank you for taken the time to read this

I don't think I could either. I'm sorry for your loss.

Firstly I am so sorry for your devastating loss and the subsequent pain inflicted by your sister in law, someone from whom you could have reasonably expected comfort. The hurt must have been unbearable.

The thing about forgiveness is that it actually makes no difference to the offending party, to forgive or not is really about tying yourself to a painful event. To withhold forgiveness binds you to them, keeps you locked into negative relationship.

The beauty of letting go is the freedom that it affords you. Nothing will bring back your precious baby or erase your sister-in-law’s heinous comments. But not do you have to hold tight to her cruel words; to let them go frees you from that bind and allows you to separate the memory of your baby from her.

You needn’t do or say anything but maybe inside you can find a way to resolve the conflict, to accept that she is one of life’s fools who clutters the journeys of others. She is not worthy of your energy.

It was a cruel, heartless comment to make, but did she say it maliciously to be cruel or was she just carelessly thinking aloud? People say stupid things that they regret and often don't mean them.
I think it would benefit you to try to forgive now. I'm sorry for your loss though.

That would hurt even the most resilient person. Your baby had as much right as anybody else's and I'm really sorry your baby was robbed of a life 💐🕯

Ps I recommend listening to the Tao of fully feeling by Pete walker. I loved it. Listened to it in two days. Good narrator. I listened to it and it was a very soothing listen.

Has you SIL changed in 50 years? Times have changed. She might be an evolving product of changing times.