She died two days ago, late 70s. His family are fairly dysfunctional but in the last 15 years he has had a good relationship with her. He is the eldest of 3 sons, all in their 50s and their dad is still alive (now widowed). One son lives near the parents, one about an hour away and we live overseas. She wasn't in good health but her death was unexpected and traumatic for his father and brother.
At the moment he is still numb. This is the first time one of our parents has died, although they are all a similar age, and we have always been grateful to have them in our lives for so long. Apart from hugs, and listening when he wants to talk, I am not sure what to do to best support him. I have suggested he does some research on grief as he did not know that you tend to go through stages, and reassured him that it takes as long as it takes and he should not judge himself for not being 'over it' at any point or for being upset or sad. This is no time to be macho!
He will go to the funeral, which due to the complicated circumstances and waiting list is likely to be in 5-6 weeks, and spend a few days with his family then. He is pleased that he was there just 5 weeks ago. I won't go as, again for complicated reasons, I have not met his parents or brothers even though we've been together almost 12 years and married for 6. Despite this, his parents had our wedding photo up in their living room!
Essentially, if you have been in a similar position and can reflect on what helped you or how you helped your partner, I would be pleased to hear your experiences and suggestions. Thank you.