Signed off sick

[MrsC20]

I work for the NHS and have had to take time off before due to two underlying health issues but I am currently signed off for two weeks due to bereavement (my Dad died). I had two weeks compassionate leave and have just had a week signed off with one more week to go.

I emailed to say I would likely be taking off one more week when my sick line finishes next Thursday. Been speaking to my therapist and she even pointed out going back next week might be too soon as I am still pretty much a wreck.

Just worried about taking an extra week off but I do feel I need to. My attendance record, well isn't the best but i've been off for genuine reasons. But i have a stressful job and just couldn't face next week especially when i just found out a family friend has died and will have yet another funeral to go to.

Should i definitely wait until I am ready to go back? Surely they would understanx being off for a bereavement?

Nhs as well. I had 6 weeks off when my mum passed last year. Sorry for your loss. Take what time you need.

OP - firstly, my condolences to you and your family following the loss of your beloved Dad 🌸

NHS here too. If you are not ready to go back, you do not go back. A GP sick note is formal certification that your Doctor does not deem you fit to be at work. Having one prolonged period of GP sign-off sickness is viewed more "favourably" (for want of a better word) than little periods here and there coming to work and going off again.
So, in my view, it is better for all parties for you to take as much time off as you need now.
You could always look at phased return/flexible working patterns when you feel ready to return to work, which may help ease you back into things rather than going back full-time straight away?

All the best xx

You're right - you do sound unsympathetic

Thank you. It's just hard to decide what to do for the best.

Thank you.

Take all the time you need. Even if they're annoyed with you they can't fire you. Grief doesn't have a time line. My dad died when I had just started the job of dreams and I went back too soon and was then left go - I was devastated and was grieving both my father and my dream job. Nightmare. Take your time, one day you'll wake up and you'll be ready. X

My Dad died last week and I'm going to try and go back to work next Tuesday. I also work in the NHS. I don't know if it's too soon but I feel I have to have a go and I've had a very open dialogue about that with my Manager. She is, to some extent, able to let me judge what I need because we have a good working relationship. Other people I know have had months off for a bereavement. I think context is everything and every situation is unique.

Her DAD died for gods sake, of course it isnt a long time off.

My sister died suddenly in January and I took 5 weeks off. My employer wanted me to take longer but I was starting to feel like if I didnt get back to work, it would get harder and harder each week I was off.

I'm sorry about your dad. Ignore anyone being a dickhead about it.

From an absence policy perspective, one long absence is better and less disruptive than repeated short absences.

If you go back too soon and end up needing more time, that's worse for you, worse for them, and will hit more absence triggers than if you just stayed off.

In the long term, a few more weeks is a tiny blip in your working life.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP.

I'm in two minds; I absolutely think you should be off if you need to be, but by personal experience my Mum had 4 or 5 weeks off when her Mum passed away, but when she (very reluctantly & with encouragement from me and my Stepdad) got back into a routine and had the distraction of work it really did her the world of good.

I did send an email saying that i'll take another week off but i'm scared that if i take more then i'll never want to go back. Tbh, i feel guilty that part of me wants to go back. I feel guilty for wanting to move forward. I feel guilty as it feels like part of me would be trying to forget him when i know that's not the case 😪

My dm passed away last week. I have also been signed off for two weeks. It may be longer as dms funeral is on the 29th. My role is customer facing and I really can’t be dealing with people and plastering a smile on my face when they have a petty gripe whilst gritting my teeth. There is a lot of pressure in my job. It’s just easier to be off.

I’m taking my time too, not sure when I’ll be ready. I had some anxiety today and was feeling very unwell.

Take it easy 💐

Hug for you @MrsC20

Do you think he'd want you to just stop your life here for him? Of course not. You need to live fully for both yourself AND him now. Don't feel guilty for a single second. Go out and embrace every everything, make him proud x

I've just had 4 weeks off as my mum died. (NHS GP) it was 2 weeks compassionate leave and 2 weeks holiday which ends tomorrow. Monday is a holiday (previously arranged in Lothian) so I'm.back Tuesday and dreading the comments of "you've had a good holiday" from my patients. Take what you need. I'm totally traumatised by my mother's sudden demise following my wedding in early may when we were so happy. I have been robbed of my mum. Look after yourself xxx

My Mum died at the end of July. I was given 4 days compassionate leave and advised that I didn't have to take it all at once 😳 I self-certified for a week...
No wonder I'm still a wreck!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sorry for your loss. Yes i'm dreading patients asking where I have been and staff offering their condolences as i'm worried incase i start crying!

Omg! That is really bad! So sorry xx

Sorry for your loss x

@MrsC20 I totally get the fear of never wanting to go back and that's partly why my Manager and me have the agreement we've reached. I also feel guilty for having had a day yesterday when I felt almost normal but I think that's why grief isn't a linear process. And why we shouldn't make big decisions during this time.
If ever was a time to look after yourself it's now.