Funeral question

[Pizzapastasalad]

This is an utterly silly question to be asking but it's my dad's funeral next week and instead of flowers it will be donations to charity, how much is normal to give? I have no idea and I'm worrying about getting it wrong! This is my first funeral as an adult and it hasn't hit me yet as being real so I'm getting fixated on silly little things.

I don't think there's a standard amount
Give what you feel is right and appropriate, but don't worry about getting it wrong.
Sorry for your loss 💐

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad. I don't think there is any expectation around donations. As much or as little as you want / can afford. Pretty sure many people give nothing, it's not really like a wedding where a gift is expected.

Are there no family flowers at all?
I wouldn’t expect close family to give a donation, unless to perhaps round it up afterwards before passing it on to the charity.
If there are no family flowers and you are expected to donate just five what you feel comfortable with, there’s certainly no expectation of an amount.

Sorry for your loss, I hope all goes as well as it can at the funeral.

Please give what you can afford and feel comfortable with.

We were about £350 for family flowers for my mum when she died.

I would personally give £20 when attending a funeral asking for donations.

There is no lower limit, its not expected. It's more of a, if you were going to bring flowers could you donate the money instead please? Type of request.

Sorry for your loss

Honestly give what you can afford £ 50 is what I'd give for someone close.

At my last family funeral we paid for flowers to go on top of the coffin. It was a couple of hundred quid.

We did not donate to charity but others who attended and who hadn’t paid for the flowers did give donations.

Who is arranging the donation? Is it you? Or someone else?

It's the amount you would have paid for a floral tribute - so starting from £50 for a basic one up to £500 for a lovely big "DAD" one. whichever one you would have brought, donate that amount instead.

Thank you for the replies.

Just to answer a few questions, there will be one flower arrangement but that will be out of the money my parents set aside for the funeral. My dad didn't want any other flowers but chose donations to charity instead and the funeral service have set up a donation page.

We are on a low income and are short at the minute but it's not well known to others so trying to find the right balance.

I am sorry for your loss, if you cannot afford it now then don't donate, the gift of a donation later when you are better able to give is just as meaningful and needed.
Please don't donate if money is tight that is definitely not what your Dad would want.

I agree with @Harp1977.

But also: I would hope that any donation you do give can be done anonymously/confidentially, so try not to worry about what is expected or ‘normal’ or any of that. No one will have access to that information so there is no need to fear judgement. Give what you can afford (and if you can’t right now, wait until you can).

Sorry for your loss.

Theres no expectation to give anything, I’m sure your dad wouldn’t want you to be struggling if you’re short at the moment, you have enough to worry about.

I dont think it is normal for immediate family to send flowers (or donantions in leiu of). Flowers normally come from extended family or those who cannot attend in person and wish to send condolences.

I personally would give nothing.

Yeah. That’s why I was asking who is arranging it - is it your mum who will be seeing how much you donated, or are you thinking about the charity itself?

If the former, just tell her you donated directly if she asks and give some when you have some to spare. If you’re the one coordinating donations, don’t give it a second thought.

I wouldn't expect close family to give anything. Your Dad almost certainly wouldn't want you to go short to donate to a charity 'in his memory'. You will honour him by remembering him every day anyway surely. I am sorry for your loss.