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can anybody answer these questions re the death of our friend...

9 replies

bubblepop · 21/01/2008 10:25

dh's best friend died unexpectedly on boxing day aged 46yrs. he took ill on the thurs saying he was vomiting and had flu like symptoms. dh went to the chemist to get him some supplies (paracetamol etc).we know over the next day or two he was vomiting, his sister had close contact with him via phone and was taking him food.we assumed he had a winter vomiting type bug ,norovirus or similar.by boxing day morning he text a friend to say he thought he was over the worst.he phoned his sister to say he was feeling much better and was on the mend. she took him some food and left it in a pan on the doorstep.later that day, she was unable to contact him,went round to the house and the food was still there. at that point another relative gained entry into the house after feeling suspicious and they found him in his bed, passed away.
the post mortem revealed that he died of pneumonia in one lung and then septacemia. we are all so shocked. he was fit and healthy,didnt smoke or really drink.he was so young,dh and i can't beleive it.we can't understand why he said he was getting better ,and then died suddenly a few hours later. surely someone with pneumonia would be in an awful lot of pain/discomfort-enough to make you seek a doctor? he was a bachelor who lived alone,a very private person who did'nt like a fuss.i just can't get my head round it

OP posts:
kindersurprise · 21/01/2008 10:28

I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Very sorry that I cannot answer your questions, but I am sure someone else will be able to help.

RosaLuxOnTheBrightSideOfLife · 21/01/2008 10:30

I don't know the answer to your question, but just want to say how sorry I am.

Chopster · 21/01/2008 10:30

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

I've had pneumonia. It is very painful, and I didn't want to do anything other than stay in bed. I was supposed to go to hospital and refused, and I was also delirious at times. I didn't realise how ill I was, I thought my husband was lying when he told me it was life threatening. It sounds like your husband's friend just didn't realise how ill he was.

pyjamarama · 21/01/2008 18:08

Bubble, so sorry to hear about your friend.

i am a doctor and we often admit fit young men with pneumonia's that rapidly (within 24hours) become life threatening. It can also present with many different symptoms, jsut feeling generally under the weather, a bit fluey and vomiting would not be unusual.

I think that with all the antibiotics etc we have that people don't realise how serious some infections can be; even treated pneumonia has a 10% death rate. Also as chopster said confusion is common, particularly if septicaemia develops, so your friend may not have realised he needed help.

sorry if that's a bit clinical.

Bridie3 · 21/01/2008 18:11

My son was very seriously ill with pneumonia and it was just as sudden as you describe. One day he was a bouncing baby with a very slight cold, stuffing himself with food and crawling around the house and roaring with laughter. The next morning he could hardly breathe. I remember the vomiting bit too.

We were lucky but I have never forgotten how frightening it was.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

GColdtimer · 22/01/2008 10:10

bubblepop, I am so sorry for your loss,. I can't answer any of your questions but understand the need for answers. My best friend's DH died 2 months ago today and the shock and disbelieve is just awful. You just can't believe something like that can happen and wonder if and how it can have been prevented. Thoughts are with you and his family.

bubblepop · 22/01/2008 12:44

thanks all for your replies. pyjaramara your reply is very helpful, i was hoping someone would post from the medical profession.thankyou.

OP posts:
Sassylou · 30/01/2008 21:50

My cousin (38 yrs old) was taken ill in early Jan with flu but deteriorated to real confusion and pains in his chest. He eventually got taken into hospital. He was diagnosed with Strep B Pneumonia and ended up on a ventilator and life support where he was for three weeks. Unfortunately he died yesterday. I cannot comprehend it, it really does feel unbelievable. He was a larger than life healthy guy. I just don't think anyone in our family really appreciated how poorly he was. How do you get your head round it?

shabster · 30/01/2008 22:28

OMG Sassylou I am so sorry for your loss. Im not sure how you get your head round it. I have lost two of my four sons and I still dont know how I got through it. I used to walk to the shops and think 'left right, left right' many times also had to remind myself to breathe. Wish I could say something that would help. Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers this evening xxx

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