Triggered by a film

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Saw a film that I probably should have guessed would be upsetting, but I didn't guess. The young boy in the film lost his mother - very suddenly in the plot. It took me back 4 years to the dreadful experience of having to tell ds that his dad had died unexpectedly. I didn't do it at all well either. Took me two goes to get the message across.

Feeling so gloomy. Can't sleep. This is why I avoid fiction. Can't cope with surprises.

Hi Perm

If you need to just talk about him, your DS or your feelings I'm Happy to be a handhold and an ear.

Thank you.

It's a dark moment. I came off antidepressants about 2 weeks ago so I guess I'm more vulnerable to dips.

I was thinking happily how nice it was to see a really close and lovely, though not stereotypical, mother ad son relationship in a film - so many films seem to focus on fathers and sons. And I was really charmed by the actor playing the boy character, who was supposed to be 10. Ad then bang. He realises his mother has been horribly killed. Hugs her body - something ds never had a chance to do with dh. By this time I was out of the room and having a flashback to having to tell ds what had happened when dh died. He was only just 14. I had to try and simplify the most terrible day of our lives and explain that his dad wasn't coming back.

I really sympathise.

It seems like you may have some PTSD. I myself have had some MH/PTSD issues. It's amazing what little things can trigger off memories you don't want to be in. Sometimes a film, sometimes a song, sometimes just a phrase with significant meaning and there I am and its 2006.

I try and swerve my brain on to a positive memory with meaning. It sometimes works. What film was it?

Spoiler i guess - Jojo Rabbit. People talk about it as mildly politically controversial but nobody mentioned this bit, including other mums.

Maybe I do have ptsd. I tried EMDR and couldn't cope with it, got too distressed. Have you done anything specific in therapy about it?

I had counselling for several years, but, you can only control what you can change, and so many factors were beyond my control

I read the book Jojo was based on my first year as a 50 Booker, my understanding is its a comedy film, and the book is nothing like, really creepy, wretched ending.

I have heavily considered EMDR but I live in an area where there aren't that many practitioners, and seemed to be people operating independently out of their own homes and I didn't quite trust it.

Yes I'd heard it was a sweet and funny film, obviously satirising something very serious with arguments about whether it did that appropriately, but not in itself distressing or violent. Usually I read a plot synopsis before watching a film but I just didn't this time. Lesson learned.

Based on my own experience I do wonder if EMDR is much closer to hypnotism than anyone likes to admit. Anyway, I had 2 sessions and it was just unbearable to keep going back. I have to keep working and living my life.

I haven't really had a flashback before; occasionally getting upset in particular places and once about a sound that came back to me, but nothing as bad as this. I think it's just being human though.

Have you read The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk?
It was interesting, its about trauma

I also have the Oprah Winfrey one What Happened To You? but I haven't ventured in with it yet because I don't want to open the box

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit I'm so sorry as you might have guessed I did fall asleep. Thank you for responding in the small hours.

Yes, I've read Keeps the Score, though I'm thinking now I might read it again. I don't want to go anywhere near any of this but maybe I have to.

I'm glad you got some sleep.