Grief counselling

[Moonchild18]

Has anyone used grief counselling? Did it help?

My older brother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly In April, he was 43 and I'm struggling to process it, the only way I'm getting through each day is by ignoring that he's gone, I think of memories of him all the time and i can think or talk of him In the present tense but as soon as I think about him being gone or if anyone asks me about him then I suddenly become so overwhelmed with pain I feel like I can't breathe, so I push it to the back of my mind again. I've lost close family before but they've always been expected and I've had time to say goodbye and come to terms with it before they've even passed but this grief is so different and overwhelming, I don't even know where to begin with processing it.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother, that must be terribly hard.

I would really really encourage you to seek counselling. I’ve had it (not for grief but other issues) and it made a world of difference. Best money I’ve ever spent to be honest.

The only things I’d say to keep in mind are 1. counselling obviously isn’t an overnight fix, you’ll need to stick with it for a while to see benefits, and 2. don’t be afraid to change counsellor if you don’t click with the first one. It’s important to find someone you feel comfortable with x

Hi, I just wanted to say I lost my brother in very similar circumstances (he was 44 and it was unexpected) in Sept 2020. I have had two sets of counselling through work and, although they cannot 'fix' anything, I found it useful to have someone to speak to and to help me order my thoughts. They both definitely helped me to keep my sanity at work and helped me develop coping strategies to get through the day.
I totally get what you are explaining in how you feel. I can only say that, with time it gets a little easier to get through the day. I still have a long way to go but I have accepted that I will always feel pain, because it reflects the love I have for my brother. I am hoping, with time, I can get over the shock and be able to think about him with happy memories.
Also look up Compassionate Friends online, they have support groups for people who have lost siblings which you might find helpful.
Take care and remember to be kind to yoursel, don't put yourself under any pressure to get back to normal (as such). This is a life changing thing and can take a long time to adjust.

I am seeing a counsellor through our local hospice after DH died in February, it is helping.

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

Grief is a cycle of emotions, shock, denial, bargaining, anger, acceptance etc and grief counselling is useful when you get stuck somewhere in the cycle.

"Normal" grief goes round the cycle for about 6 months and if you were stuck at say anger and couldn't move that or kept going back to the denial stage for longer than this it would be considered "complicated" grief.

This is where special grief counselling is useful to work through those stages and also explore other losses you may have had that have resurfaced and adding to your difficulties processing things.