Crass comments

[Nickinbracknell]

This is a repeat of a thread from 2011 but having lost my mum a month ago and the funeral looming on Monday, Im being asked where she is being cremated. Luckily for us, Mum was super organised and we had a burial plot ready. When I mention this, I hear "oh no, not for me! Hate the idea of worms, etc" Yeah, thanks for reminding me that my mum is now dead and it will be part of the process. Crass??

Sorry for your loss OP. Yes I think those comments are a bit crass / thoughtless. People sometimes just don’t know what to say in the face of bereavement. Hope
you’re ok.

Yes,crass. I'm sorry for your loss

Crikey, that's the last thing you need and conjures up an image when you're already feeling very raw. I'm so sorry about your mum

I'm so sorry for your loss 💐

Unfortunately, I too have had crass comments. I comfort myself that thankfully they are the odd one or two from the same friend or family member - who tend not emotionally intelligent anyway. I remind myself of the dozens of friends and family who have been sympathetic and said very comforting things. I also ask myself if they are saying things out of malice or ignorance - and then let it go.

I don't have any suggestions about what to say back to them - I tend to avoid them due to their insensitive comments.

One of the deeply unfair aspects of bereavement is the way the bereaved so often have to make allowances for the crass. As if they didn't have enough on their plate.

My personal favourite was the response: "You're kidding!!!" when informing certain doofuses of my DH's death.

How insensitive and frankly bizarre of them. I'm so sorry. X

So sorry for your loss, I lost my DDad a couple of months ago and people sometimes just dont think at all before speaking. 💐