This is long. No need to read, just nice to rant! Sorry!
So we're selling mum's house as she v v sadly died a few months ago. When we put it on the market, as I live near by, I went round and cleaned it for the estate agent visiting, and I put all the little trinkets and photos from the surfaces and shelves etc.. in boxes, or in cupboards to make the photos nice and uncluttered. I threw nothing away and it's all in a couple of small boxes in my garage or in mums cupboards. I've told brother we should look through the boxes together. He was a bit annoyed I'd removed the items from the surfaces and I said sorry, but we can look through all the items together any time he wants and he can have all/any if he wants, and he can take the stuff back out of the cupboards and boxes if he wants now the photos are done.
We now have to clear the house as selling fast. I suggested we make dates to meet to go through stuff together, but he bought his family up before I was able to meet and they made a start packing stuff into boxes ahead of me. I said that's all fine, but can you leave mums clothes please as I want to look through them. He said sure. He said he doesn't want any of her clothes so will leave to me to choose what I want and pack up the rest.
Then we met together on another day, just the two of us, to clear more of the house but every time I touched anything he said he wanted to see it, and anything I suggested throwing out, he said he wanted to see first - so I felt 'what role is there for me'? I can't pack anything or throw anything as he wants to see it all, so he might as well do it himself. He has reached this conclusion too, so he and his wife have decided to get a storage facility and he and his wife and child spent all day today packing up everything to put in storage so he can look at it all again in his own time. Again, I said fine and thanks (I was upset to be honest, as I thought we could do this together, but instead he and his wife have taken over the whole day and I'm not involved), but I asked him, please can you leave mums clothes as I want to see them. He said sure. I said this a few times. He agreed.
I feel pissed off there is no role for me. I want to help but there is nothing I'm allowed to touch/move, so I had to let him and his family sort mums stuff without me.
I feel upset because I saw him tonight and said I would go to mum's house tomorrow so I feel I'm helping, and if there's nothing else I'm allowed to do, at least I can have a look at the clothes. He said - 'oh you can't, we've boxed them up and taken them to storage'.
I know this shouldn't bother me. He and his wife worked so hard today and were there for hours and hours. But I just feel really pushed aside and pissed off that that only thing I specifically asked him, he completely ignored. Now I'll have to work out how to get access to the storage facility and ask him what boxes mums clothes are in, so I can look at them. I wanted to look at them in her bedroom, where I felt close to her. I wanted to potter about in there. He knew that. I'm sad :(