My Dad died & Mum now has dementia

[GettinTrimmer]

Wasn't sure whether to post this on elderly parents. It's coming up to a year since my DF passed away. Sadly my DM is recently diagnosed with vascular dementia, which has changed her personality and left her with extreme anxiety the hospital can't treat. I am heartbroken, but life goes on; I have work and teenage children.

My Dad suffered terribly with septacemia and my poor Mum had to do her best as my Dad carried on stoically without carers. DM has been through a lot and this is so sad. I am sure many of us are going through the same?

I miss my DF so much. I am visiting my DM in hospital this afternoon, she has no interest in seeing me really, will only talk about her anxieties which at the moment is not feeling she has enough clothes, then it goes on to something else.

Thanks for reading, longer than I meant!

I'm sorry, its so tough isn't it? You just have to keep doing the best you can and accept you can't make things better.

So sorry to hear this. A year is still a short time to deal with your grief and to have your mum's diagnosis on top, I'm sure this is very hard to deal with. It sounds like you are doing amazingly well/.

I’m so sorry OP, I’m in a similar situation here. Dad died just over a year ago and we realise now just how many adjustments he was making for mum who’s deteriorated quite a lot since he died.
Her main concern at the moment is not having enough money in her purse and whether her debit card is about to run out. (She has and it isn’t)
Its hard isn’t it 💐Previous anxieties have been tablets, glasses and hearing aids. Remove one worry and it is instantly replaced with another!

Thanks for replies anotherdisaster and Porcupineintherough thanks, coping best I can, accepting of the situation the best I can. I didn't have much time off work when my Dad passed away - not coped always with stresses and politics at work, but did take a few weeks off when my Mum was struggling.

Luckily things are better but I am nervous about making errors and not looking forward to this week, but I can work from home - hybrid working. I have a Ukrainian colleague worried sick about her family, and I try and think of others having a harder time than me.

Catlitterqueen love the user name, I have a cat who won't always wee in the right place! My Mum, following a spell in hospital, is in a care home, she is slowly settling in and and yesterday when I visited, I was not dismissed after 10 minutes. She is worried about the windows being open or not and food at the moment. Thanks, it is hard. I hope your Mum is OK, it is hard work taking care best we can with one worry then they're on to another one.

Best wishes to everyone struggling with loss of a parent. Coming up to a year's anniversary for me, this week last year my Dad was admitted to hospital. Have been OK lately, but finding I am marking time and tearful when reminding my teenagers of his stocism and calm outlook.