Should I attend the funeral?

[Funkyslippers]

An old friend of mine lost her teenage son very suddenly recently. I hadn't seen him or the family for 5 years and had no contact but I knew him for the first 10 years of his life. I sent a sympathy card and my friend thanked me and we're planning on meeting up sometime soon.

His funeral is coming up and I'm wondering if I should go to support the family. I was very fond of his grandmother but I can imagine the church will be absolutely packed so I might not even get to speak to any of the family therefore they might not even know I'm there. No wake has been mentioned. Also I don't really want to go on my own but the only person who is available to come with me is my 13 year old DD2 who barely remembers them but she's happy to come with me. Would that be ok do you think? Thanks

I would go, OP.

I’d go. You’re more likely to regret not going than going.

Go

Yes, I would.

I would go to show my respect, without any dc, keep to the back, pay my condolences and leave before the wake.

Definitely go.

I'd go but I don't know that you need to take your DD.

That said funerals are for the living and to show support for the living.

The family don't really need your support, otherwise you'd have been specifically invited along. If you're going, you're going for yourself, which is fine as long as you do not bring your daughter. That would be incredibly crass of you.

I think I would go but absolutely not take your DD. It's not because she's a child but I think taking a plus one to a funeral who doesn't know the family is distasteful.

Agree totally with Oriunda

Yes go. I was touched by everyone who attended my husband’s funeral, even people I hadn’t seen for a very long time. You’re there to pay your respects and show support for the family.
I wouldn’t take your daughter though.

Don't take your daughter. I disagree that you have to be invited to the funeral.

“The family don't really need your support, otherwise you'd have been specifically invited along. If you're going, you're going for yourself, which is fine as long as you do not bring your daughter. That would be incredibly crass of you.”

^I agree with this. The fact you haven’t even been made of aware of the wake arrangements says it all really.

You don’t need an invite to a funeral.

I think you should go.

Well the funeral was a month ago and I took my daughter for company. The family that I managed to see were very grateful that I came and thought nothing of me bringing her. Everyone was invited to the wake as there were details on the back of the order of service. It just wasn't mentioned on social media.