Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

Should I attend the funeral?
15

Funkyslippers · 09/05/2022 21:47

An old friend of mine lost her teenage son very suddenly recently. I hadn't seen him or the family for 5 years and had no contact but I knew him for the first 10 years of his life. I sent a sympathy card and my friend thanked me and we're planning on meeting up sometime soon.

His funeral is coming up and I'm wondering if I should go to support the family. I was very fond of his grandmother but I can imagine the church will be absolutely packed so I might not even get to speak to any of the family therefore they might not even know I'm there. No wake has been mentioned. Also I don't really want to go on my own but the only person who is available to come with me is my 13 year old DD2 who barely remembers them but she's happy to come with me. Would that be ok do you think? Thanks

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

CallMeBettyBoop · 09/05/2022 21:50

I would go, OP.

Please
or
to access all these features

AllyCatTown · 09/05/2022 21:52

I’d go. You’re more likely to regret not going than going.

Please
or
to access all these features

Stichintime · 09/05/2022 21:53

Go

Please
or
to access all these features

PragmaticWench · 09/05/2022 21:53

Yes, I would.

Please
or
to access all these features

WeAllHaveWings · 09/05/2022 21:55

I would go to show my respect, without any dc, keep to the back, pay my condolences and leave before the wake.

Please
or
to access all these features

Comedycook · 09/05/2022 21:57

Definitely go.

Please
or
to access all these features

Dinoteeth · 09/05/2022 22:01

I'd go but I don't know that you need to take your DD.

That said funerals are for the living and to show support for the living.

Please
or
to access all these features

Oriunda · 26/06/2022 12:21

The family don't really need your support, otherwise you'd have been specifically invited along. If you're going, you're going for yourself, which is fine as long as you do not bring your daughter. That would be incredibly crass of you.

Please
or
to access all these features

TidyDancer · 26/06/2022 12:25

I think I would go but absolutely not take your DD. It's not because she's a child but I think taking a plus one to a funeral who doesn't know the family is distasteful.

Please
or
to access all these features

MyfavouriteisA · 26/06/2022 12:26

Agree totally with Oriunda

Please
or
to access all these features

Candleabra · 26/06/2022 12:27

Yes go. I was touched by everyone who attended my husband’s funeral, even people I hadn’t seen for a very long time. You’re there to pay your respects and show support for the family.
I wouldn’t take your daughter though.

Please
or
to access all these features

Palavah · 26/06/2022 12:28

Don't take your daughter. I disagree that you have to be invited to the funeral.

Please
or
to access all these features

drpet49 · 26/06/2022 12:32

“The family don't really need your support, otherwise you'd have been specifically invited along. If you're going, you're going for yourself, which is fine as long as you do not bring your daughter. That would be incredibly crass of you.”

^I agree with this. The fact you haven’t even been made of aware of the wake arrangements says it all really.

Please
or
to access all these features

KneeQuestion · 26/06/2022 12:52

You don’t need an invite to a funeral.

I think you should go.

Please
or
to access all these features

Funkyslippers · 26/06/2022 20:36

Well the funeral was a month ago and I took my daughter for company. The family that I managed to see were very grateful that I came and thought nothing of me bringing her. Everyone was invited to the wake as there were details on the back of the order of service. It just wasn't mentioned on social media.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.