8 weeks old baby boy died of cotdeath

[lilsmum]

my friends sister in laws 8 week old baby died of cot death on sat night...its so sad. they went to give him a bottle at 2am he wasnt breathing. tried to resusitate him but was DOA at hospital.he was such a happy little thing too cant stop thinking about it and i naively thought it was smaller babies maybe that are more likely but he was 10lb 3oz when born.it is so shocking when you hear of these things happening.

The older two boys were on the Child protection register because her ex boyfriend left them alone in the living room while she was at Asda, and he had lots of friends round smoking puff. The HV turned up and noone let her in. XXX turned up and let the HV in, the HV saw what was going on and reported her. Because of this, SS shot round the day after the baby died and took the kids. Now she has to prove to them that she is a good mum.

the thing with this situation is the parents of this baby boy were doing all the wrong things...one of there bedrooms was so damp there was mould on the walls when they had slept in the room they had told my friend the bedding would be soaked through with the damp and they were told by the council they would sort it out asap but not to let anyone (even themselves) sleep in this room.. this little boy was put in this room (ALONE) last week!! they were putting him to sleep on his stomach!! they had also last week put this 8 week old baby on hungry baby milk!?!? and sat night when the baby died the mother was out getting drunk!! and only found out when she got in at 3am!! shocking!! poor little boy.

but she isnt with him anymore!! ffs!

But as the baby died of natural causes, you think they would let the kids back, but just keep a close eye on the family

they also smoked in the flat!!

that's really bad mieow. That poore girl must be going through hell. Did she manage to get her photos sorted out?

yes, thanks god

she is only 21, and a really good mum, I have been there when she has had to say goodbye to her younger two, she holds it together till they are out of sight and just collapses into my arms

lilsmum, the parents are probably blaming themselves now anyway. but i guess they have to go thro post-mortum etc.

this is my worst nightmare. i still wont get a movement moniter as it'd make me more jittery.

oh excellent - i had been wondering about it. That's one good thing. lilsmum it's such a shame- did they just not know any better? My best friend has just found out she's pregnant and she hasnt got a clue. The first thing i did was send her an email of all the do's and don't's!

z-cat, they have a 3 yr old girl too so i dont know.i only know how i was which was very paranoid alway checking dd was ok infact probaly over the top.

xxx

misdee, i felt that way about the monitor at 1st but once you learn that a babies breathing is erratic its fine, i now wouldnt feel ok about using a "normal" monitor, i would be up and down the stairs like a loony lol. xx

same here - as mieow says its my biggest nightmare and makes me unbelievably paranoid. Thats why i was wondering if there is a time when they are 'safe' or at less risk from it. For some reason I'm thinking 9 months but I dont know for sure

The risk of cot death does reduce substantially from the age of 6 months (Mieow's poor friend's baby bucks the trend), but its still possible after 6 months (though very rare)

HMC, he was just over 6 months

Mieow, my baby is only 7 months and I was acutely upset about what happened to your friend - more so because I could relate so easily (since her baby was a similar age to mine, and I was imagining how I would be in pieces if anything happened to ds)

I lost my 15 month old boy to cot death 3 months ago, I always thought it was 0-6 months but they will only class it as cot death if the child is under 12 months, such a hard thing to go throu, you expect to put a healthy baby to sleep at night and wake up to a healthy baby. Thinking of all the angel babies that was too beautiful for earth x

So so sorry for everyone who has gone through this.

It's always been my absolute worst fear.

Just so tragic I can't find any words that don't sound trite.

I was cross with DS this morning for waking up too early. Never again.

This is my worst nightmare. The reason I won't have baby number 5. The anxiety i have about this when they are small is crippling.

I still check on my little ones, even the 7 year old :(

Poor family :(

Lilsmum, you seem really angry at the parents, but I'm not sure it's a great idea to express that here. It's an open forum. Consider how they would feel if they saw what you have written above now, or in the future.

Please don't judge them. Like you said, the police have been round doing their due diligence to see if there is any fault involved.

Cot death has an age cut off technically (12 months I think). Beyond that age it is know as sudden unexplained death in childhood, or SUDC.

Hi there
This is a really really really really old thread. From 2004.
I am not even sure if lilsmum is around or posting on Mumsnet.

Mummyofangelbaby, so sorry for your loss. IN fact, this is better:

@MyDogShitsMoney

So so sorry for everyone who has gone through this.

It's always been my absolute worst fear.

Just so tragic I can't find any words that don't sound trite.

I was cross with DS this morning for waking up too early. Never again.

Sadly, we have lots of folk who have been through something similar and who support each other on our bereavement topic
I will shortly lock this thread as let's not rehash this very sad story.
Wishing you strength, love and peace
MNHQ

Thanks Olivia.

Maybe there could be colour coding for posts over a year old? I feel like a right numpty now for not noticing!

Oh how sad :(