Should I send a card or a FB message?

[Funkyslippers]

A friend I haven't seen for 5 years has just lost her teenage son in the most tragic of circumstances. She will no doubt be in absolute bits ATM. We fell out, not in a major way, but our last conversation ended with me hanging up on her. Our DDs (both 18 now) also fell out. I knew the boy more when he was a toddler/young child and thought alot of him but hadn't really seen him for around 7 years.

So what's appropriate? She's posted about it on FB but we're not FB friends. Do I send her a message or post a sympathy card? I know when I had bereavements I really appreciated any cards or messages from anyone.

If I was going to contact her* I would send a card.

Its personal but private.

She can bin it and ignore that you ever sent it or not. With a public massage, she has to actively "remove" it so you get a "reply" and others may comment to her about it, forcing her to respond to them.

*Depending on why you fell out.

Definitely a card. Not on FB.

You might have had a falling out, but you were friends and you are thinking of her.

Definitely a card, not facebook. Apart from anything else, if you aren't friends on facebook, you message may go into message requests. She is unlikely to appreciate suddenly finding a random condolences message in a few months time.

Card

I would defo send a card unless you fell out so much that she would hate you