My dad died

[Ireolu]

My strong never ill dad died a month ago. He took ill suddenly on the 4th of March we thought we was rallying but he passed away a few days later in ITU. He was 82 years old. When I type it out I am aware of just how lucky we were to have him for as long as we did and how well he did to stay so well all these years.

My family live on a different continent. It wasn't initially clear just how ill my dad was. When it became clearer I jumped on the plane to see him before he died. I missed him by a few hours. I stayed home for a a week came home then when back for his funeral. I feel bad because I hadn't seen him for 2 years due to covid.

I loved him so much, he knew this. I told him everytime we spoke. Although an octogenarian he was active went to the office and had a great life. Prior to this never spent a day in hospital.

I miss him so much. I cry sporadically and my little one is trying to cheer me up reminding me to think of happy times with grandpa. Losing a parent at any age is so hard.

It is always a huge shock, no matter how old or how ill/well. Be kind to yourself and allow the tears to come

I lost my dad two years ago this week. It's taken me a long time but I'm finally starting to be able to remember the good times without feeling sad about the fact he is gone.

We were lucky to have them as our dads, lucky we knew them and I feel grateful for the team relationship we had.

Sending you the best wishes xx

Just to add, my dad went into hospital a few weeks after lockdown. We had no idea he was that ill, no one did. He died on his own in the hospital without us around, and it's still very hard to deal with.

I like to think of him letting go, thinking of us kids and getting proud and happy we all loved each other. It finally makes me smile. I wish you the same very soon.

I'm very sorry you lost your lovely Dad.

I'm so very sorry. Losing your dad is like losing a big chunk of your security. I felt, and still feel, I'd lost a safe harbour where I could shelter whenever things got rough. My dad died 7 years ago in hospital and I still miss him every day. Grieve at your own pace and think how lucky we've been to have a father whose loss gives us so much sadness.

So much sadness. I wake up and for a minute I forget then I remember and it all comes back and then the tears come. I spoke to him the day before he became incapacitated. It was mundane stuff I wish I had known that would be our last proper talk. I would have told him how much I adored him but I didn't know. My mum who was with him for 45 + years has been so strong. I feel like I am letting her down being so sad.

@LetitiaLeghorn I don't know what or who I am without my dad being in this world. I am almost 40 and it shocks me that I feel this way :( so the bit about him being an important part of my feeling secure rings true.

I too lost my dad a few months ago, he was 81 and so fit and active. It was extremely sudden and shocking. I thought he would be with us at least another 5 years. I’m only in my early 30s and it’s so so hard to lose a parent. I’m grateful to still have my mum but it’s changed our relationship as we’re both so sad and I have never known them not be a pair. It’s just so so sad.

im so sorry for your loss x

I would have told him how much I adored him but I didn't know.

He knew. He didn't need you to put it into words. He knew from the way you hugged him when you saw him, the pleasure you had when talking to him, and love that oozed out of every pore of you. He just knew and never doubt it.
It will hurt for a good time yet. I was 55 when I lost dad and 7 years on I still cry. But I can also laugh and even take the micky out of him. It's still early days and it takes time. A lot of time.

Hi Op.
My dad is recieving End of Life Care in hospital now. I talk to him, hold his hand. Thank him for teaching me so many valuable things, kindness, dignity, respect to others. I don't know how I feel, guilty because I wish/should have done more. I have been crying speradically too and can understand where your coming from. I think I will continue to talk to him even when he has passed. But my heart is broken.

Thanks for the kind messages ladies. In an attempt to cope with my grief I have buried myself in work. 2 months on now I am still sad but as has been mentioned the sadness may be overwhelming as it is still early days. I am hopeful the happy memories will start to come.to the fore more. I wish comfort to anyone going through loss.