Lost my boy at 22 +4 don’t know where to turn

[holzyb20]

I lost my little boy only 2 weeks ago today at 22 +4 weeks due to an accident at work. Today feels like my worst day of all and I really don’t know what to do, I feel so lost, lonely and sad. I just wish they took me with him because my life feels like it’s worth nothing if he is not here with me. He was such a long awaited baby I had tried for over 5 years to have him for it to all end like this. The whole thing has truly traumatised me and I don’t think my partner understands just how much it’s completely tore me apart, my world has completely crumbled around me and he wants to act like things are normal. I just don’t understand.

I don’t really know why I posted here or what I expect I think I just needed to write my feelings down somewhere

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy What is his name?

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby son and in such traumatic circumstances. Please tell us his name and any details you would like to.

I don't think your partner wants to pretend things are normal but he doesn't know how to be, is struggling to let himself feel the pain, is maybe worried about you so things he's helping by being normal.

Do you have any family or friends close by?

I cant imagine your pain OP. I too think your partner is trying to be strong for you maybe? Have you got another other support? X

Oh love. I am so sorry to hear this. Sending hugs

I'm so very sorry to hear this

Ahh, I am so sorry for you. Big big hugs......
No two people handle things in the same way, and it is such a shame that he is not on your wavelength with it. It can never ever be the same for a man, as they do not have the physical loss from their body, on top of everything else.
Please be as kind as you can to yourself. This is not something that you will recover from quickly, you know that..... The only way through it, is unfortunately, through it.
My heart goes out to you.

We called him Huxley, he was so perfect he had my little nose but had so much of his dad in him too. My partner didn’t make it to the hospital before he was born I went through the whole thing alone without anyone I knew around me, I just feel like I will never come back from this. I have tried to be so strong around friends and family they all think I’m “coping so well” but inside I’m dying and completely falling apart

I'm so sorry OP. I lost my boys at a similar gestation. The pain I felt was like nothing else I'd ever experienced (despite previous miscarriages) - it felt life-destroying.

My advice/experience for when you're up to it:

Try to focus on getting through each day.

I had to ring out of hours in the first week as I felt so desperate- if you need to it's completely normal. Your GP should be able to help.

Get in touch with SANDS - it's reassuring to speak to other parents who have some understanding of how you feel.

Ask your hospital for a meeting to discuss what caused your premature birth & what they could put in place for any subsequent pregnancy. If you don't get answers, consider asking for a referral to a preterm birth service who might be more knowledgeable.

Again, I am so very sorry ♥️

Oh my love, I'm so sorry to read and as a bereaved mum myself (around the same gestation time) I just wanted to say that it is horrendous what you're going through, and although I can't offer much comfort since I'm in the same dark pit at the moment, I wanted to send love and strength. x

Ps. please feel free to dm whenever/if you ever need it. There are wonderful people in mumsnet that helped me a lot that way, so if this could help some way, I'll be glad to. x