Viewing body in chapel of rest (violent death)

[Ninat231]

I've recently lost a friend who died a violent death at hands of her ex. Battered and strangled. We are all completely heartbroken but, despite the gruesome nature of death, I'd still like to visit her in chapel of rest to spend a few minutes with her and put a letter in her coffin.
I've visited loved ones in chapels of rest before but never when died under such circumstances.
Will the coffin be open or closed? Anyone here can advise me what to expect or how funeral homes present bodies that are badly injured or beaten etc? I expect she'll be covered in bruises around the face and neck.
Just want to prepare myself mentally for seeing her.

What an appalling thing to have happened. I am so very very sorry 😞💐

I think you should ask the undertaker first what to expect. 😔

I'm so sorry ,how awful. I would talk to the funeral directors first they are very good at preparing you for how the deceased will look in my experience. You can ask them to put the letter in with her if you decide against it.

@MrsClarkandPercy

What an appalling thing to have happened. I am so very very sorry 😞💐

I think you should ask the undertaker first what to expect. 😔

This. I'm very sorry, how absolutely awful.

Sorry for your loss
A close family member of mine took their own life in quite a violent way, and in all honesty, seeing wasn’t anywhere near as gruesome as I was expecting. The funeral home did such an amazing job. There was still some visible bruising around his neck jawline and brow bone looked a bit strange, but everything else looked quite normal considering the injuries he sustained. They are amazing at their job, and take such great care.

sorry for your loss

agree, ask the undertaker.

it might be unsuitable for viewing.
the undertaker can take care of the letter for your friend.
a good friend was killed in a traffic accident. the nature of the injuries made it impossible for the body to be made 'presentable'.

It will be the family's decision whether the coffin is open or closed, and they will be advised by the funeral home as to what would be best under the circumstances. Are you close enough to her family to have spoken to them about it?

I'm very sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss, OP 💐

I'd ask the family's permission first if they're happy for you to go (if you haven't already).

Then the undertaker will advise you. If the family wants viewing, the technicians can work wonders.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend.🌸

The funeral directors will only have an open casket if they've been able to make her look 'presentable' but you can call them to ask them.

Sadly I've seen far too many family/friends & it wouldn't stop me going & spending some time with them.

But everyone has to make their own decision.

Tuck some extra (((hugs))) in with your letter from an unknown on MN XX

My friend died in a car crash age 5 before seatbelts were compulsory, the car had tumbled many times when it was flung in to a corn field & she had severe head & facial injuries. My mum was her godmother & went to see her at the Chapel of rest, she said you wouldn't have known how badly injured she was, the technicians work wonders & have many ways of covering up injuries.

Even if it’s possible to have the coffin open, and crucially the family are happy for it to be open, you can request for it to be closed if you’d like to be in the presence of your beloved friend, to say your last goodbyes, and to remember her as she was rather than by the cruel way in which she was taken from you.

I am so very sorry for your loss. Any loss is extremely hard to cope with, but when it’s sudden and utterly unexpected it just rips the very earth right from under you. Take time to be kind to yourself right now and grieve as strongly as you loved your friend xxx

How very sad, I am sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry, that’s just awful

When I visited my mum (not a violent death, but v difficult circumstances), they’d placed a gauzy veil over her face in case it was too upsetting, and we chose to have it removed. They really do an amazing job of making your loved one look their best. It felt to me that she’d been treated with such care and kindness that it was actually a comfort to see her.

I hope you feel the same about your friend x

I've worked at a funeral home in the past and in some circumstances the family of the deceased will request no one view at all - so you will need to ask the funeral director's if that's the case - if it is you of course won't be able to visit. Another thing is sometimes the funeral director will advise against viewing. Having had to do this myself if they advise against it I strongly recommend taking their advice, they don't say things like that often and it's usually in extreme circumstances.
With that being said, bruises/injuries etc can often be very well disguised during the embalming process or with makeup etc, so she may look a lot more okay than you think.
But the most important thing is making sure the family will allow you to visit.
I'm very sorry for your loss x