My DM died just over 6 months ago, shortly after the birth of DD2. I went through all the motions, denial at first, then it hit me like a train wreck.
I will never talk to my mum again. She will never see my DD2.
She was very ill for years and had many close calls, it was not a surprise she eventually died. We were preparing for it for a long time.
I talked to health visitors, my GP, the bereavement charity. They all say my feelings are normal, they're always there if I need to chat etc.
DH supportive but he never went through a loss himself.
However, I find myself completely unable to make any decisions. My DM was my best friend, I talked to her about everything. I have nobody to discuss things with! DH has always been bad with decisions. DF is struggling himself and even normal conversation, when I tell him a long elaborate story, he just replies 'what do you want me to say to this?', as if he'd rather just not talk to me at all.
I suddenly feel so, so lonely, and like the only adult in the room, and if things go bad it will all be my fault because I'm the one who picked the house/ the school/the roofing contractor etc. 
DH is very relaxed about everything but I feel like nothing gets done if I don't research it/ sort it and with my advisor gone I feel utterly stuck even picking new jeans for myself.
DM wasn't an expert at anything, I don't think she's actually know anything about roofs or schools, but she was just always... there. Would always listen. And now she suddenly isn't .