How do you remember/honor people you have lost?

[riverpebbles]

I lost my sister to suicide recently. The funeral is in a couple of weeks. I'm thinking about all the occasions she won't be there for in the future, like Christmas, and thinking we'll raise a glass to her. I'm thinking about her birthday and the anniversary of her death, and how to mark those. I'm thinking maybe I'll light a candle for her on some occasions.

Just wondering what you all do.

I tend to just have my own thoughts about the loss of someone close. I dont like dwelling on all the sad aspects of anyones death. and I am not prone to crying about things at all. I like to just remember happier times that they had. Mostly i write a lot,. I write about things to clear my head of some things.

i have been writing a personal journal about all my family life, for about 35 or more years. so it will state how I dealt , and felt, about all the things that have happened over the years, the good things, and the bad or sad things.

Sorry for your loss.
On my husband's anniversary I usually go to a zoo (he loved it there) with the in law's, his birthday I always have dinner with his mum. Our wedding anniversary I usually spend alone. His mum lays him a place at Christmas.

So sorry for your loss. I also lost a very close family member to suicide in 2020. On the first birthday they weren't here for we did quite an extreme challenge to raise money for a suicide charity in the week leading up to it and then after we held their belated wake/a huge party on their birthday because their funeral was in lockdown when Wakes werent allowed. We talk about them a lot. Raise a glass at Christmas etc. Instead of sending Christmas cards I now donate to a suicide charity.

They were young and so there is lot they are going to miss out on. For my wedding I had photos of them and donated to a suicide charity instead of giving out favours.

There is something that has become a symbol of them to us (think a certain flower) and so I like to have little things with that on around the house to make me think of them.

We incorporate them a lot into our lives. I'm not sure if it's right or wrong

I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister.

For me and my daughters, part of our Christmas Eve tradition is to visit my dad’s grave, taking one of those tiny Christmas trees in a pot. It feels important to acknowledge him, and then we snuggle up at home x

Thank you all. I'm not sure there is a right or wrong.

@riverpebbles there's not, one piece of advice, do what's right for you. My FIL doesn't partake as he thinks we're celebrating and it's wrong, technically we are, but celebrating his life.

I planted a plant in the garden that shares her name.

I dab cream blush on my cheeks like she did.

I buy her favourite flowers on her birthday.

I buy the food that reminds me of her on the anniversary of her death (and share it with other family members).

I use her sayings in appropriate moments and they make me smile.

My best friend died last year. The children bought me a rose named after her which i have planted in the garden. Also planted some lily of the valley round it as that was her favourite flower. There is a little solar lantern that glows at night. I like having a little bit of the garden dedicated to her.