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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Missing my baby daughter

29 replies

LittleS2021 · 07/03/2022 10:05

She was born with life limiting condition which we were aware of during pregnancy but wanted to continue and give her much love and support whilst preparing ourselves. Fast forward and passed away at 7wks nothing could prepare me and I felt so lost but tried to keep busy and was managing. It’s coming up to 7wks since she’s been gone and hitting me like tonne of bricks. I miss her so much and write about her, watch her videos and photos every day. I was early 40s when she came via ivf so unlikely to have another child but tbh that’s fill me with guilt. I feel so empty without my girl but try to get comfort she’s better now up in heaven. My bereavement midwife is ok and we try connect with other support groups but this is harder than I could ever of imagined. I miss her on my chest Sad

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LittleS2021 · 07/03/2022 10:07

She was my firstborn. I read about people who lose a baby and go on to have rainbows. Hard at my age but also I feel very torn as my loyalties are to her.

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Binjob118 · 07/03/2022 10:33

Sending hugs, this sounds so hard. Maybe too early to think about whether to try again, but the door is still open. Sounds like you had a very special time with her, she will always be with you.

LittleS2021 · 07/03/2022 11:13

Thanks Binjob, yes we were very lucky to of even met her as told she could pass in utero. It was a scary time but when she came early she was so perfect and inseparable.

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ISeeTheLight · 07/03/2022 11:25

I am so sorry for your loss; how awful. Friends of mine had a late miscarriage, then a stillborn at 35 weeks and then a daughter who passed away when she was only a couple of weeks old. They've decided not to try again. It is absolutely heart-breaking; I really do think getting professional psychological support and peer support can help you. Have you reached out to Sands?

www.sands.org.uk/support-you/how-we-offer-support/sands-groups

Sands Helpline - 0808 164 3332 [email protected]

movinghelprequired · 07/03/2022 11:28

Sending lots of love to you OP and keeping your precious daughter in my thoughts Thanks

HoppingPavlova · 07/03/2022 11:45

I’m so so sorry OP, it’s so unfair. I second sands if you have not already connected. No one is able to fix this unfortunately but they can help you to navigate through it. Flowers

LittleS2021 · 07/03/2022 11:47

Thanks both. Iseethelight im so very sorry to hear about your friends, that must’ve been devastating. I do speak with support lines when I have a bad day too. It’s so tough

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SparklingLime · 07/03/2022 11:47

The way you talk about her is so beautiful, OP. Im so very sorry. Flowers

TinaYouFatLard · 07/03/2022 11:50

So sorry for your loss. Your post is so full of love for your baby girl.

Don’t feel guilty or disloyal about thinking of trying again. You will always be her mum and like all parents of two or more, there is not a finite amount of love you have for your children. Another baby to love will not diminish the feelings you have for her. Take care.

Motherofcats007 · 07/03/2022 12:08

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, what was her name?

I just want to say I’ll be thinking of you and hope the grief will be more manageable one day. Take care xxx

Googlecanthelpme · 07/03/2022 12:13

Oh OP, life is so unbearably cruel and unfair at times. I’m so sorry your little girl is no longer here with you.

It is clear that you love her very much and that her short life has filled you with so much joy and happiness and love despite the grief and sadness.

Like PP said, love is not measured, there is always more, always enough. Should you feel that you would like to try for another child, you should feel no guilt or disloyalty. Love is abundant and it takes nothing away from her.

Sending you so much love and I will keep your daughter in my thoughts today

Flowers

LittleS2021 · 07/03/2022 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleS2021 · 07/03/2022 14:56

My baby daughter is called Sarina, at times I call her Little S. I know the grief will always be there and as time goes by perhaps I will manage around it hoping we are reunited. For now I shall continue to get support and do what I can to keep her memory going, my sweet Sarina ♥️

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SpanishPapers · 07/03/2022 14:59

I'm so sorry for your loss.

SparklingLime · 07/03/2022 15:09

Such a pretty name, LittleS 💜

Namechange600 · 07/03/2022 15:20

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby girl 💐xx thinking of you both xx

LittleS2021 · 08/03/2022 14:45

Thank you. Means a lot

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Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 08/03/2022 14:48

Have you done anything for a memorial op? Planted a tree or a bought a special piece of jewellery? Beautiful name op.
Sorry for your loss.

LittleS2021 · 08/03/2022 15:02

Thanks Easter, I am thinking of a locket with a charm attached with her foot print. I’m worried though I might lose it so thinking maybe also a tree.

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Comedycook · 08/03/2022 15:04

Beautiful name...I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

Babiesandboardgames · 08/03/2022 15:06

So sorry for your loss.
Sarina is a beautiful name xxx
A tree is a lovely idea xx

theveryhungrycatapillar · 08/03/2022 15:08

I am so so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel but what I do know is that you are an incredibly strong lady. Xxx

StarCat2020 · 08/03/2022 15:08

I am so sorry that this happened to you.

Sarina is such a beautiful name, it sounds like it suits her perfectly.

Take care of yourself.

LittleS2021 · 08/03/2022 18:35

@theveryhungrycatapillar-I use to (and still do) read this book to Little S. Brings warmth to my heart seeing your name ♥️

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LittleS2021 · 08/03/2022 18:37

Sarina means peace, calm and tranquil. She was very much that, chilled but did find her voice too. The excitement she felt abs reacted when her mobile was above her cot, as it twisted round. The nurses were so pleasantly surprised by the sounds she made Smile

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