Keeping positive and social after bereavement

[Darkroominthesun]

Hi everyone
I’m hoping this is a good forum to help me. I’m posting on behalf of my mum. We lost my dad last year rather suddenly. We were all devastated of course but he was my mums whole world asnd she’s totally lost without him. She’s been really strong and has thrown herself in to looking after grandkids and trying to keep active which is great, but of course life has totally changed.
She is still a young 63 and doesn’t want to now become dependent on family for entertainment. She keeps saying that her life will be smaller now she’s alone, she’s adventurous and fun loving but now doesn’t feel that part of her can survive on her own. She wants to get out there, meet new people (not romantically, just like-minded friends) but can’t seem to work out how to do this.
I was wondering if anyone in this group could make any suggestions. Anything that you did to help find a bit of light in the darkness. Any advice?
Thank you very much in advance

Walking groups , Book groups ( try the library), voluntary work in any capacity. If she has any interests or anything she would like to try maybe a course . My mum is older but she took up Pilates and they all go for coffee afterwards.

Local churches often run coffee mornings for making friends in the area.
The minister/vicar/priest as appropriate would also provide support and pastoral care after bereavement even if your mother is not a regular churchgoer.
U3A is an organisation that runs an assortment of classes for retired people - everything from crafts, painting, language lessons, to chess and bridge. Another good place to meet others and learn something new or pursue a hobby.
Volunteering as suggested by PPs.
This might be a whole new chapter of life, if your mum was previously very wrapped up in her marriage with few other outlets.

I’m assuming from your post that she’s not working. But she’s still young enough to do something if she wants too - volunteering in any capacity. Charity shop / food bank / CAB / hospice / listen to kids read at school the lists are endless.

Choir
Women’s institute
Religious groups of any persuasion
Art class
Enrol at the local college in a class
Walking groups

What did she do before your dad died? Is there anything she can carry on with. I know it’s very different, but she can’t have been 100% dependent on your dad for entertainment.

Tell her to go on holiday! My mum was also in her (late) 60’s when my dad died and has continued to travel all over (slightly curtailed because of Covid but she’s still done long haul in the last 6 months). She said the first time was hard but, once she had done it for the first time it was better from there on in. It doesn’t have to be far; but it’s different and will give her the confidence that she can do it.

Thank you so much everyone. There are some excellent suggestions here, I’ve already suggested a couple and she’s investigating them already - so I’m eternally grateful.
I’m sure this will be a new chapter and can definitely imagine she’ll have a full and enjoyable life in the future, it just feels very far away at the moment. These are the exact first steps I was hoping would inspire. So thank you x

The first steps are the hardest, for all of you in different ways. I hope she settles on something she feels confident with