How do you cope with so called happy times when they clash with sad times

[Motheranddaughtertotwo]

My sons birthday is coming up, he’s turning 9 and so excitable and lovely. But all I want to do is scream and hide. It’s also a year since my precious dad got very ill very quickly. Last year we weren’t together but I genuinely believed we would be this year. Now there is no hope, it’s bleak and my dads lack of presence is felt so deeply. The cemetery closes before I finish work during the week so I can’t even visit his grave. I don’t know how I’m going to get through it.

Time.

It's a cliche but it's true.

My partner died on my mother's birthday 10 years ago. Year after year it's easier to be able to celebrate my mum's birthday while also honouring the anniversary.

We always talk about my DF when we have special days and raise a glass to him. It gets easier. Tbh I find the ordinary days more difficult when I might not have thought about him for a short period and then it hits me.

You will grin and bear it for your son. Take your time and space to grieve elsewhere.
Bereavement does take the innocence of some events from you.
My Mum died the day after my birthday, her funeral was on another date that was a special anniversary for me. I can't separate the two anymore. My beloved Granny's birthday co-incided with another special date, which put a cloud over that for some time
I'm sorry for your loss but don't let it spoil your son's day.

Thank you all and I’m sorry for you losses. Maybe it’ll get easier once we get past the first of everything, at the moment I still can’t get my head around it him not being here. It’s been over 9 months and it still feels so raw. My dad would have made so much effort to make my son feel special and I feel his absence so much.