My lovely dad 💔

[Backwards31]

On the 5th of February 2021 I lost my wonderful dad to Covid. We were very very close and I can't even begin to describe the pain I'm feeling. The past year since he began his fight have been the hardest, most gruelling year of my life. The day he died i think half of me died with him. I no longer enjoy anything I used to. I don't get the same fun out of anything. I think about him constantly. I have been to counselling and it just didn't help me. I still try to have fun for my own children but it's all an act. My heart is literally aching for him. I crave him. I can't function properly without him. We never got to say goodbye. He went into hospital on the 3rd of Jan and fought the hardest fight but unfortunately didn't survive it. They say grieving gets easier well that's a lie. For all of my family anyways. So four days ago I began getting chest pain. I am 34 and healthy so I didn't know what was going on it wasn't severe but it was there. I took pain killers thinking I had pulled a muscle. Two days ago driving back to work after lunch I began to get anexcruciating pain/ feeling in my chest. I was fully convinced I was dying. I rang 911 immediately and told them to please hurry up I am dying. They came and blue lighted me to a&e. In the ambulance they done an ECG and my heart was beating very fast but it was otherwise ok. Anyways spent the night in hospital to be told I had had a major anxiety attack. I have never experienced anxiety or anything like it until last year. I could not believe it. I'm not on beta blockers and my gp said to me I have a broken heart. Has anyone any tips on how to deal with grief? I feel like iv lost the most important person in my world and I'm lost without him 💔💔

Sorry I meant to say I am now on beta blockers

So sorry for your loss OP if you are able to, please access grief counselling x

I’m so sorry OP, you should in a state of shock and grief currently. It’s completely normal.
I don’t even remember what I did the weeks after my Mum died, and nearly two years on I still struggle now. I would fully recommend accessing Cruse bereavement sessions if you can (when your ready of course)
I found one of the hardest things was life going on as normal for people, family got over the pain and I still felt utterly lost. I don’t want people to forget who she was! Ultimately she was my Mum, I don’t want to forget her.

Why don’t you tell us a bit about your Dad?

I am so sorry OP.

I can't say I know how you feel as everyone experiences grief differently, but I too lost my dad. He died during the 2021 year-end holidays (two weeks ago) and for me, the pain and grief have been getting worse as time goes on. Anything can be a trigger: a little holding her dad's hand at the shop, men who dress like him, certain songs and now I literally his name everywhere (he doesn't have an overly common name, so it takes me aback each time).

I've been experiencing chest pains around my heart since the night I learned of his passing and I went to the doctor's yesterday who told me it's stomach reflux (absolute nonsense). The pain is unbearable at times. Grief can unfortunately transpire into various physical symptoms.

My dad suddenly died of a heart attack and I didn't get to say goodbye unfortunately. I think of him all day, but I know he's here with me even if he's not physically present.

Grieving is a complex process and I'm navigating through it myself, but letting yourself feel the pain / sadness / anger of whatever emotion you're feeling in the moment is important. It's a very basic and perhaps silly suggestion, but tons of people throw themselves into work or fake it until they make it, but then the unprocessed grief comes back to haunt them. If you can, perhaps grief therapy would help.