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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Best Friend Died Today - I am beside myself

51 replies

noxmasname · 23/12/2007 22:30

I got a phone call this morning from my best friends mother in law.

He passed away this morning at 6am - I am absolutely devastated. He had been ill for a month, but not expected to die, nowhere near that poorly - it was so sudden.

He has left behind a lovely wife and an 8 year old daughter. I know there is never a good time for this to happen, but I am so upset for them at this time. God only knows how they are going to cope. My heart goes out to them.

OP posts:

moljam · 23/12/2007 22:49

so sorry,terrible news.

turquoise · 23/12/2007 22:50

I'm so sorry. How awful.

hippipotTEDCHRISTMASTREEami · 23/12/2007 22:52

That is terribly sad

My friend's dad died on Christmas day a few years ago, he had spent Christmas day with her, her dh and little dd, went for a snooze in front of the telly after lunch and never woke up.

Such a terrible thing to happen, especially to one as young as your friend.
My heart goes out to his wife and dd.

Original poster

noxmasname · 23/12/2007 23:13

I think i am still in shock to be honest - I cant think straight about anything,all I think of is him and such happy times we had and I crack up. His poor little girl - such a lovely darling who has now lost her best friend too, her dad. She has been so excited too about Christmas and how things turn - she now has to spend it without him.

I dont know how i will get through Christmas but I will do somehow. I am going to see his lovely wife tomorrow. She is sedated at the moment.

He had been poorly a couple of months ago but thought they had controlled it - his liver totally packed up yesterday and by this morning it had killed him.

Got to go now, so sad.

Thank you for all your lovely words and thoughts.

OP posts:

PeachyHasAFiggyPudInTheOven · 23/12/2007 23:20

Dh's friend died from something similar alst year, liver problems that worsened overnight and killed him, although we knew there was a chance.

to you. i lost my best mate when we were both 16 to ana ccident, and I remember how much it hurt. be kind to yourself and well done for being such a good friend to the chaps wife- so many people seem to vanish in these situations.

Thinking of you X

Ledodgy · 23/12/2007 23:25

Oh God what devastating news for you and his family. Thinking of you.

lou33 · 24/12/2007 00:40

so sorry for your and their loss

ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 24/12/2007 01:13

There seem to be so many of these threads around atm thinking of you.

oxocube · 24/12/2007 07:29

am so sorry for you all

PrincessSnowLife · 24/12/2007 08:02

Ever so sorry to hear your news. Losing a best friend is really heartbreaking. Thinking of you.

GColdtimer · 24/12/2007 08:18

I am so sorry to hear this news. My best friend's husband died of something similar exactly a month ago, he was 38. He was on the emergency transplant list but it didn't come in time.

It is absolutely devastating - you will certainly still be in shock, a month on I think I am only just getting over the shock and I still don't really believe G has actually gone.

I really do know how you feel, you feel so sad and so helpless and empty and so fearful of the future for the people who are left behind.

If you look on this thread there are some links to some resources that may help your friend's wife. It is probably a bit early for you to take it in right now but check them out when you can.

I found that my friend just really, really needed people around her and feels that she has got through the month being wrapped up in a great big duvet of love.

You can email me on graciegee at gmail dot come if you think it would help to talk to someone who has been through the same thing.

In the meantime, my thoughts are with you and your friend's family at this awful, awful time.

RudolphtheredROSEreindeer · 24/12/2007 08:33

oh dear god that poor family

trulymadlydeeply · 26/12/2007 19:35

What a terrible shock. So sorry.

edam · 26/12/2007 19:46

I'm so very sorry, noxmasname.

GColdtimer · 28/12/2007 00:48

noxmasname, just wanted to drop in to say hello and that I have been thinking of you and your friend's family a lot. I told my friend about what had happened and she just said "that poor family, I can't believe this is happening to other people too".

I hope you managed to get through christmas. xx

Original poster

noxmasname · 02/01/2008 17:14

Thank you all for your lovely messages, they mean a lot to me.

Twofalls, thanks also for your message and I am so sorry you have been through this, and your poor friend.

Its the funeral tomorrow - that poor girl has had so much to deal with - Christmas, then on 27th it was their wedding anniversary and my friend (her hubby) had already written her card out before he died and she found it and he had written such gorgeous words on it. Then she had New Year to deal with and the funeral tomorrow. She is doing so well to cope with it all. His daughter had an awful time the day he died and since then has been a rock to her mum telling her 'we'll be ok on our own mum' everytime she breaks down. Its devastating to watch it all happening and he has left such a huge gap in many people's lives. He'll be so sadly missed by so many people.

He ended up on a life support machine though after surgery and died, he suffered terribly in the last couple of days. He was a huge man and it was so sad to see him so poorly.

RIP my lovely friend.

OP posts:

massivebigpantsface · 02/01/2008 17:20

How awful!
I'm so sorry to hear your terrible news.

SantaBeClausImWorthIt · 02/01/2008 17:30

Only just seen this - how awful. Hope you're OK.

MaryAnnSingleton · 02/01/2008 17:30

what a terrible shock for you - I'm so sorry

Eliza2 · 02/01/2008 17:31

How sad for all of you.

Mercy · 02/01/2008 17:39

I'm so sorry.

My best friend died some years ago and I was devastated. I feel so sad for your friend's wife and daughter.

Tigerschick · 02/01/2008 17:43

08aGreatYearForCarmenere · 02/01/2008 17:45

GColdtimer · 02/01/2008 17:54

I am so glad you have posted again, it is so awful and I feel so much for you and your friend's family. I will be thinking of you tomorrow at the funeral, it is an extremely difficult ritual that has to be done and will bring some comfort in a strange kind of way. It won't be easy but it is a time for remembrance as well as mourning.

Your friend's dd sounds amazing, and the love your friend had for his family is what will help them through the coming months. I talked to my friend today and she said it is her DH that is making her get out of bed, have a shower and go through the motions of life.

This is such a difficult time of year for anyone who has lost anyone, my friend said the year is stretching out like a desolate wasteland in front of her and she doesn't know where she is going to get the energy from to cross it. I am sure your friend feels something similar.

Do keep posting on here if it helps. xx

Tortington · 02/01/2008 17:58

i am so sorry for your loss xxx

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