Struggling with the finality of it all. Where are you Dad? :(

[ToJabOrNotToJab]

Just that really. Lost my dad last month. We were extremely close. Would pick up the phone as the other rang kind of thing. 2 days before he died I dreamt of him and knew he was warning me he wasn't going to make it. Since he's gone- nothing. He was such a big personality, I can't wrap my head around that just.... stopping. I'm just so lost.

Oh bless you. It is very very early days for you. Of course you can't wrap your head around it yet. You were so close and he was such an important part of your life.

You may have read of the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - but they don't necessarily happen in order, and you don't march through them all and then get to the end. They can happen at the same time, and you can move on and then find yourself revisiting one or other of them again.

Take your time, and take it a day at a time. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and no right or wrong timescale to move forward. (The Victorians used to have a period of a year for mourning those close to them. I used to think this was perhaps OTT until a friend lost her daughter, and she chose to do just that - take a year out. It was what she needed to do and it worked for her.)

If you need further support, I can really recommend Cruse - website and/or counselling.

Thinking of you. If it helps, would you like to tell us about your Dad? He must have been a special person to have had such a lovely relationship with you.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like an awesome guy and I think you were both very lucky to have each other!

So sorry for your loss. I have lost my Dad and often feel the same. It does get better but it's crap.

Oh, I'm so sorry. It's awful, I lost my beautiful kind DM a few days before Lockdown 1 last year. Whilst I knew she was gone forever I couldnt get my head round where. I'm not religious or spiritual so mo beliefs as such but where did 'she' go, how can there be no more?
Things do get better but I have no answers to what I was thinking and feeling. Take care of yourself OP, its hard but you'll be ok in time.

Thank you for your kind words. So sorry to those of you who feel/have felt this way. It's honestly the worst thing that's ever happened to me and I'm still reeling from the shock of it

So sorry for your loss, sending hugs 💐 This is my second Christmas without my dad and trying to distract myself as best as possible. Here if you need to chat at any point.

Go with the waves, OP. I often think I'm doing OK and then realise I'm not. It's my first Christmas without my brother, he died nearly a year ago. I still feel like I can't believe it most days. I know he died and isn't here anymore, but how can it be true? Someone said to me in the very early days that life will morph into the 'before they died' and the 'after they died' which I find accurate, over time it seems to be sinking in more how traumatic the whole experience has been.

Someone shared this image with me too. It's such a slow process, but the shelves do start to fill