What to do with ashes?

[Piratepearl]

I just watched a video online of an artist in Australia use some ashes to create a beautiful beach scene and mixed ashes in with the sand used in the artwork and it's made me think.....
I lost my mum 7 years ago now and I haven't ever really processed due to the circumstances. I always change the subject every time it comes up about what I should do with them. I know she can't sit on a shelf forever and feel like next year I really need to start dealing with it all.
I was just wondering if anyone would mind sharing what they have done with loved ones ashes?

My mum told us where she wanted to be scattered so that was fairly simple. Likewise my aunt .
I have seen various craft people claiming they could make keepsakes with ashes but I am a bit cynical.
Did your mum have a favourite place/ walk/ holiday spot where you could scatter them ? Or would you want to look for a plot to bury them with a gravestone?
Our local authority has a garden of remembrance and you can scatter loved ones there in the borders, under trees etc, and visit as you wish. It’s a lovely spot.

I do know someone who had their DF made into a ring for her DM, herself & DSis. It does look lovely but I’m not sure how I feel about that myself.

Siblings FIL’s ashes were buried in the family garden but, as her MIL has now moved, I’m not sure if they left him in the garden of the house he built or if her MIL took him with her.

My own FIL is still in the cupboard in the hall as DH & SIL don’t really know what to do with him as yet.

DGF was scattered in the memorial garden of the crematorium.

Friends put some ashes in the pot of a small tree in their garden - so can be taken if they move.

I scattered most of my Mum with her two beloved labradors ashes in the Yorkshire Dales. We did keep some back as we wanted to have some keepsakes made, it may sound grim to some people though. I searched for a while to find the perfect piece, I didn’t want it to be obvious that it was an ashes ring. Mine is very subtle and I love it. It’s silver with a ruby red stone, I chose the colour stone myself as my Mum always had ruby red nails and it’s her birthstone. No one would know what it was but I wear it daily, it just makes me feel like she is close.

DS and and held hands and made a mold and added some of DH ashes to the plaster.

I've a bag of them I'm going to take a tiny amount each time I go abroad and pop them on the beach. I'm having some mixed into a tattoo I'm getting done.

@Inthewainscoting

Friends put some ashes in the pot of a small tree in their garden - so can be taken if they move.

Do you know what kind of tree it is? I am planning to do that with some of DH’s ashes, but know nothing about trees. We plan to scatter some in the Peak District where he died because it is a very beautiful place and he was happy there, but that’s a couple of hours from here so I also want a tree so we have something at home. I want it to be happy to stay in its pot in case we ever move from this house. I will tell DC that by putting the ashes into the soil Daddy is helping the tree grow, so it also needs to be a low maintenance tree that won’t be likely to die! I might get some put in a piece of jewellery for each DC so they have a tiny piece of him always, I am not sure about that yet.

You could have a living memorial. Google 'Wildflower Urn'. The urn is completely biodegradable and naturally breaks down when it's buried in soil. The inner lid contains wildflower seeds and a growing compost medium. When the flowers grow, their roots integrate and draw minerals from the ashes.

Alternative you can get a woodland memorial tree pack. In the pack you get a sapling tree and a wooden memorial marker. This option allows you to plant a tree - maybe in your garden - in memory of your loved one.

For something unique and different you can shoot them into space. Ascension Flights uses meteorological balloons filled with helium to carry biodegradable urns to the edge of space. Once the balloon reaches 100,000ft, it bursts and scatters the ashes across the Earth.

One set of my grandparents were scattered at the crematorium garden of remembrance, the other set in the woods where they walked their dogs for years.

DGF was scattered along the railway line next to his allotment (he was a train driver). DGM was scattered at a local place she used to walk with DGF when they first met.
My DM & our dogs however, are still sitting on my bookcase as my brother & I can't seem to address this. She left no requests in her will. I've taken a bit of her ashes to Italy & scattered them in Ravello (where we had lovely holiday & she loved Italy) & another bit to the New Forest (we used to live nearby & walked there lots), but the rest still remains. I really need to deal with it though.

Before my wife passed away in February, she told me she wanted scattering but not in the garden of remembrance at the local crematorium. We unfortunately lost her before I could ask her if there was anywhere specific she had in mind. After much head scratting, I decided that she would like to be scattered at one of our favourite holiday places. I scattered her on what would have been our silver wedding anniversary on the beach at Marazion over looking St Michael's Mount. I thought this would bring us both full circle and give me some closure and peace of mind.

DHs ashes are still in the understairs cupboard, and it will be 5 years in the spring.

I guess mostly because I don't want to have to deal with them / process the loss of that connection - they should be scattered on/near the local racecourse.

My dad is in my garden under a rose bush. Every time a family member pops down to see him they put a stone on his garden, like Jewish people do. We are not Jewish, but we loved the tradition of building a memorial to the person using stones. Dad has quite a collection which is heart warming, knowing the children pop down for a chat or just to remember him.

Scattered dad's ashes near to cliff edge at Seven Sisters, his happy place. Was concerned that we'd have a big Lebowski moment and get dad's ashes in my face but amazingly they got blown outwards into the sea There was a lot of ashes and it seemed heavier and grittier than I expected
Me & sibling went to this well known popular spot on a mid-morning Monday when less busy so could take our time. I had wanted to do an ashes scattering at sea but sibling didn't want this (£cost). I've since learned of river ash scattering facilities in Leicester and other cities with large Asian populations worth looking into

For those of you have turned loved ones into jewellery… do you have a plan for what you’ll do with the jewellery after you have died?

MIL is intent on turning FIL into a diamond but “who will inherit grandad” is, er, a bit tricky as a conversation I expect to have in the future.

I do hope you find something that works for you OP.

Unfortunately putting ashes into jewellery, glass artwork etc only use less than a teaspoon of ashes so you still have to find other places to put them.

I buried some of my father's ashes in a cemetery, so he has a grave I can visit and put some into an ornament and I still have some left in a bag in my drawer
I think I will put them in the garden. I won't need to take them with me if I ever move as I have the grave and ornament.

You could ask a local Potter if they'd be willing to add some to a ceramic glaze (only a small amount though) on a cup or something (several common glazes include ash in their composition anyway).

My dad got about in life and also in death.
There's a handful in a tub in the garden under his favourite rose. A handful under a bush in the cornish beer garden dh and i had our wedding reception in 10 yrs ago. Dad loved it there.
We scattered a fair bit over my sisters grave, where my mum is also scattered.
He was a steam train fanatic and his mates at the local steam railway arranged for my brother to tip his ashes into the fire box and sound the whistle when he did it. We watched my dad go whizzing by with the smoke. He'd have loved that.
The rest is in a tea tin in my brothers kitchen cupboard waiting to go out to Germany to be scattered with my dad's mum who died when he was 9.
I think dad would be happy with our choices.

So far DH has been

Shot out of black powder guns by the DC’s on NYE ( he loved shooting)
Been scattered in the river by my mum
Been left at his favourite shooting spot with our dogs ashes
Left in the beer garden of our local pub
His brother took some and put them on his mothers grave

There is still a lot left!

My DH's ashes are variously:

Buried with his beloved dog
Scattered on the mosh pit and campsite of a much-loved music festival
With our DD
With a UK friend who will have them buried in a woodland site they own, when they go
Mostly in my wardrobe. In a box, not scattered.:o

Some of these are lovely and made me cry. I wanted a piece of my grandmas ashes to be made into jewellery but unfortunately thanks to covid and the fact she lived in Europe I couldn’t get any. Didn’t feel safe sending them this way so we placed all of her next to granddad .
I on the other hand want to be made into a firework when the time comes.

I have a lovely piece of jewellery which I wear all the time and it keeps my relative close to me

@Driposaurus
I had it made for me as a surprise so will gift it back to them- they also would have comfort from it

Darling wife died July 2020. On the first at anniversary I scattered most of her ashes at sea where we live, from a fishing boat she went on fishing trips in. This Christmas me and her sister scattered some of her ashes under a tree in a park she was a gardener at years ago. I have a small amount left which I plan to plant under a new fruit tree.

My brothers ashes lie with grandparents and with his dad. As he was a fisherman the rest were scattered at sea by a convoy of fishermen.