My husband died last month

[Blorb]

It was very sudden and unexpected - heart attack.

It's unbearable he's no longer here.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you like to tell us about him?

Gosh, I'm so sorry. You must still be in shock. Do you have children? How are they coping?

Do you have any real life support. I hope you've got some good people around you x

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad earlier this year and have subsequently seen my mum go through being suddenly widowed. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself all the support you can get. It’s a horrible time.

You are right, it feels unbearable. All you can do at this point is put one foot in front of the other. People say take it one day at a time, one day feels completely overwhelming, so take it one hour or one minute at a time. Do you have people around you for support?

It will be 3 months tomorrow since my DH died suddenly and unexpectedly.

How terribly sad. It can't even have sunk in yet and be so fresh.

So sorry for your loss, please feel free to talk about him here if you wish.

So sorry

How lost you must feel Blorb. I wish you strength.

I'm so very sorry for your loss

My daughter is 11 and not really processing it fully yet.

He was such a lovely man, everything feels unreal.

People are being kind and offering help but it's not helping all that much really.

So sorry for your loss
Is there anything you think your DD's should /n't be doing to help
I ask as one of my students is sadly in the same situation
Have you someone to talk to irl ?

So sorry for your loss op, and what a terrible age for your daughter. Does she have good friends supporting her? Do you?

Are you part of any bereavement group? Sometimes strangers experiencing the same thing can be a better support than long term friends. And you will feel able to share more fully what you're feeling.

I am so very sorry OP and am thinking of you and daughter. These are awful times to be bereaved and I can only imagine the pain you must be both feeling.
If you are looking for help for your daughter can I point you in the direction of the charity Grief Encounter. I knew nothing about it until I came across the Instagram account of someone called Tim Williams who was walking the coast of England to raise money for it. He had very personal reasons for wanting to provide support for bereaved children having experienced the sudden death of his father when he was 12.
I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me copying what he said on his fundraising page that he wished he had had the charity to talk to before he’d learned to hide his feelings away.
From what I’ve read, the charity provides free professional and specialist bereavement support services to individuals and families. Offering a way through the anxiety, fear and isolation caused through grief. Offering one to one counselling, family fun days, a dedicated trauma team and a free and confidential national helpline called grieftalk.

My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly five and half years ago. Our daughter was older so I'd hesitate to say how to go forward here.
It is very early days, and looking back I can see I was in shock for quite a while. At first I wanted to die, not commit suicide, just not be, the pain was so terrible.

I found a widows' group invaluable later.

I wish I could say it gets better, but I don't know what that means, though I kept my job, holidayed, saw friends, improved my house, supported our daughter. If that's better then I am better, and it's valuable.

Many Blorb

I’m so sorry to read this. I wish I could help you make it better but I can’t. I hope you have people around you who can support you. Your husband sounds wonderful. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for the comments everyone.
Going to reply later.

Sorry for your loss. When I was widowed I found WAY Widowed and Young amazing support.

Username refers to ex husband not my partner
Sorry for your loss, I lost my partner of 3 years suddenly 6 weeks ago.
Nothing anyone offers will help but if something takes the burden or stress from you let them do it.

Keep talking about him and to him is what's helping me.

I'm also following lots of grief accounts on Instagram, this is more to get the perfect quote to put on his grave.

I find spending time with his family helpful as they truly know how I feel

I've an 11 & 8 year old but he wasn't their father and more a fun adult in their lives, they're talking freely about him.

Christmas is very pared back this year & we're in a new home so I feel a bit guilty but not enough to motivate me

I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack 12 years ago when my kids had just started primary. He was at his peak.
I found people saying 'let me know if I can help' not helpful at all - just do something, people, rather than ask to be asked. Bring over a couple meals, offer to walk the dog, be specific in what you will do. For me if someone said 'I'll take your kids out for the day' I would have accepted, but it was hard to ask if someone would.
Anyway I didn't join any group but maybe I should have. I just ploughed on because of the kids. Christmas was hard and to be frank I took the decorations down pretty soon after the day as I couldn't stand it.
Take it one day at a time. Talk about him. Get a couple photos printed of you and him and with his daughter. You will always miss him, but you will smile again.