I suffered a terrible bereavement recently. My mum knew this friend but was nowhere near as close as me. I came back from the hospital after watching my friend die and went straight to collect DC from my mum. When I told her (in floods of tears) that X died this morning, her response was “it’s for the best because she was in pain”. She didn’t seem upset at all. She didn’t ask me what happened. She didn’t hug me or hold my hand or offer me a cup of tea or anything. Just a nasty heartless comment and then she changed the subject. So I walked out.
No contact for four days. She usually calls every day but she didn’t bother to call to see how I was even though she knows I’m devastated. No flowers. No attempt to cheer me up. Nothing. Eventually I cracked and called her. She didn’t ask how I was or what’s happening with the funeral. She wittered on about her own minor problems for a quarter of an hour before asking me how I was feeling. I said I feel distraught. Mum said “well you have to get over it!”. So I hung up on her.
I don’t know why she’s being so nasty to me. When her friend died I cuddled her and sat her on my sofa and made her a cuppa. Then I sent her flowers and called her every day. I said all of the right things like “I’m so sorry, when is the funeral, would you like me to come with you for support?” I didn’t tell her it’s for the best and she needs to get over it. You don’t say that to people!
I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to continue any sort of relationship with her after this.