Ok, I need help please. I’m a mess and I don’t know where else to turn for advice. I’ve found out my mum is Terminally Ill with (at best) a couple of years left. I’m devastated. My Mum and I are very close. I’ve two children under 5 who adore their Nan and, as she lives 10 mins away they’ve seen her almost every week (at least), since Birth.
- [x] Ive has a rough childhood, I left home and lived in in temporary accommodation when I was 15/16. For many reasons including the fact I wasn’t keen on my mums new bf who was 30 (10 years younger than my mum) who had moves in with us.
- [ ] I Had some terrible experiences during the time in these temporary places, Some are quite I believable. To say I’m damaged is an understatement. Anyway. To try and cut a long and awful story short. I finally got a more permanent home when I was 16, I avoided my mum and goimg home as much as I could however, I still was in contact with them anyway. FAST FW a few years and I get a buzz on my buzzer while I’m in the bath and it was my mums partner. My heart sank but I remembered what my mum has said “he’s upset that you never answer his calls” and so I said to myself “ok, for her I’ll let him in” he has obv had a few drinks and I wondered what was going on. He processed to tell me he and my mum had split up. He was acting very weird. I felt uncomfortable and so everything went downhill and I was feeling so awkward. I tried to change the subject. Remember Im still in a effing towl. He asked if I wanted a Massage I’m not going to go into anymore detail now just skip to the main point. He asked for a kiss (he was going to go I thought) so I gave him one (they kiss on the lips where he’s from I was always told ) I was never comfortable with that and refused to do it but this time he went in with lips but I obliged as I wanted him the hell out. Its was a split second, quick but never the less bloody horrible, he asks for another. I just want him to leave and so I did and he stuck his tongue in my mouth at this point I jumped up and started screaming “what the hell are you doing” “get the f*k out” “NOW” I kept saying over and over. He left quickly. I called my mum in pieces. Told her why. Basically I was never believed. The turmoil went on for months It was brushed under the carpet and it caused me to “loose it” I stared drinking lots and talking drugs I was broken hearted. No one to help me. At all. God knows what the conversation was but I’m sure it’s something like. She lied but let’s just, for her sake forget it.. I eventually learned to live with it seeimg them both regularly, Pushing iit to the back of my mind and pretend it didn’t happen. That’s was over 25 years ago now. Theres not a week that goes by that I never think about it/ dream about it or cry about. The frustration and disbelief that my mum didn’t believe me haunts me to this day.
Do I bring it up and sort this once and for all… I don’t know if she believed me and brushed it under the carpet or didn’t believe or what. Iva had to live with this pain for so long now. I feel selfish the thought of clearing this now while she’s terminally ill but I don’t think I’ll see him again when she’s gone unless this is sorted (we planned to move away from it all before we found out) Ill have no reason to put myself through it any more. Then there’s the kids he loves and I feel bad but damn it… don’t I deserve to have a happy life?
He is set to inherit everything really…
They’re also about to marry to make it all easier and avoid taxes etc which makes me want to bring this up more so she can make her will with all the REAL FACTS.