A bit of support for all those without a loved one for the first time at Christmas .

[CaptainUnderpants]

My Mum passed away in the Summer so Christmas will be a bit strange this year and obviously very hard for my Dad.

I will be at the INLs for Christmas , Dad going to my brothers and then coming to us for New Year . I know that I am going to find it very hard especailly when hearing Carols on Christmas morning as Mum loved that.

I know that there are probably a few of us out there who are going to be without a loved one for the first time .

Its been so strange just writing card to Dad and not buying a present for Mum

just a thread to share our thoughts .

X

Hello. Thinking of everyone else who has lost someone dear this Christmas too. Lost my Mother last Christmas, so it's the first without her.
Reading some threads about trivial complaints about parents and in-laws gets me annoyed. Ds has no grand parents at all. Makes you realise what is important and what is not. X

First year without eldest. She ran away in January and haven't seen her since.
Thinking of all of you.

Much love to everyone in this situation.

My beloved Gran died on Christmas day last year, followed by my grandad 8 weeks later. It's going to be really odd without them both. I'm just trying to focus on DS (16 months) having a fabulous time, and thinking about the new baby which is due next August.

My heart goes out to you all.

We lost my FIl this summer and last week I had a premature birth at 18 weeks, so lost my little girl Hope as well.

I feel like cancelling Christmas this year.

im so sorry ,needmore coffee how old is your daughter i hope she turns up , i dont know what to say that must be terrible xthinking of youxlets not cancel xmas just support each other, i know when i have unbearable days i come here

needmorecoffee - I am so so sorry to hear this. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I wish I had words of comfort for you. I hope you have lots of people around you to help you through all of this.

cece - what a shit year for you and your dh. You probably feel like me, in that 2008 has to be a better year, as nothing else can get as bad as it seems now.

Hazygirl is right, lets support each other xx

2006 was worse year of my life ,2007 strange ,2008 im gonna make it my yearx

You are all in my thoughts

xxx

Yes you are all in my thoughts too. My ds died on 1st August and its our first one without him too.

Things are always hard but I will take time to do something for him on xmas day. He doesnt have a grave for his ashes yet (they are on my fireplace) but I may walk down to where he will have a grave and concentrate on him and his memory. He was our only child so we dont really have much else to think about. Going to see family on xmas day too.

Much love to you all xxx

I hope you are all able to find some peace at what will be a really tough time of year, much love x

What sad stories.

2007 has been a truely awful year.

This all puts christmas into perspective.

Hugs to all of you.

Hears to a better 2008

Ryan - RIP 20/08/2007
Carl - RIP 11/07/2002
and their families.

My dad died in the early hours of this morning. He was 88, had severe Alzheimer's diseas, and had been in a care home for about 18 months. So his death wasn't entirely unexpected, it could have happened at any time. It means all our Christmas arrangements have been changed though. Myself, dh and ds, and my sister and her dp were going to stay with my other sister and her dh in Wales. Now the Wales sister and dh have gone to my Mum's in Kent, and the other sister and dp are coming to us in Suffolk. So I have been rushing around today planning menus and shopping etc, while trying not to think too much about stuff.

My ds (aged 7 ) has been very stoical and helpful, and dh has been very helpful too.

I am also thinking a lot of two friends who have lost their mums this year (both a lot younger than my dad) and one of them phoned me up today after hearing my news to offer me help! She is a real good friend, is facing her first Christmas without her mum, and was able to think of me when I need help far less than she does really. Please think of her and her family. She is a MN lurker, so may read this, and if so, thank you loads, you know who you are and I couldn't ask for better friends than that

Lost my dad on 21st November. He'd fought cancer for five and half years but, in the end, he'd just had enough. It took me forever to write a Christmas card to my Mum. What could I say? Happy Christmas just didn't seem right. I cried when I read her card to me, signed just from Mum. Happy Christmas, Dad. We'll do our best to have a good one but it just isn't the same without you.

Sorry to hear both of your news (and your friend snowmuchtobits, hopefully she will be listening). Losing someone is never easy but I think it is especially hard at this time of year.

I know it won't be a happy Christmas but I hope you get some comfort from being around the people you love. xx

To CaptainUnderpants and everyone else on this thread, I shall be thinking of you all.
My brother died suddenly and unexpectedly this summer and this will be our first Christmas without him.
It is so strange the way in which things like this seem to happen and change everything.
I wish you all a peaceful Christmas.

My thoughts are with my non-mn friend who lost her wonderful husband this year. She and her children were invited to join us at christmas lunch tomorrow, but she has just texted to say they won't be coming due to illnesses. I wish there was something I could do to lessen the pain of these first momentous occasions without beloveds. It truly is an unfathomable grief.

My thughts are with you all.

My DAd died in 2005, 6 weeks after my son was born. we will be 3 on 5th Jan, so xmas is always a sad tiem, as I remember the last few pecious weeks we had whilst he was still able to recognise us.

HE will be 3 on jan 5th, now it makes sense!