I’m a Nanny & recent bereavement in the family

[Footballfrenzy2021]

I’m a Nanny to 4 children aged 4-9.
Very sadly & tragically their Mother passed away in the last 4 months.
I feel very ill equipped & wondering if there are any books that may help me help the children.
I don’t know what I’m looking for really but I just know I want to be there for them.
The littlest ones don’t understand & very rarely mention their Mummy but the eldest two do.
I wasn’t the Nanny before the bereavement. I’ve been a family friend for 10 + years

I would approach winstons wish - I believe they have good resources. I think there are activities like memory boxes iirc.

I would really recommend chatting to your dboss about this. What is his preferred approach?

Also just FYI I believe 4/5/6 year olds can respond to the trauma by losing all memory. This happened to a little boy in my own family who lost his dm at 6. He has almost no memories of her at all.

www.winstonswish.org/supporting-you/publications-resources/

www.childbereavementuk.org/early-years-supporting-bereaved-children

www.childbereavementuk.org/managing-bereavement-a-guide-for-early-years

[[www.childbereavementuk.org/Listing/Category/working-with-bereaved-families

So sorry. Those poor children

You can always call Cruse.

Where I live there's a charity which specialises in support for bereaved children.
Try googling to see what's available where you are?

Op you sound lovely - when I was young I knew someone who nannied for a family where the dm had very sadly killed her self. I believe the nanny made a real difference to the children in that terrible time in their life

Badgers Parting Gift is a lovely book xx

I'd really recommend looking up Keziah Warne. Her name is Kezandthekids on Instagram.

She is a nanny for a family in London. She's always posted about their activities. The childrens mum passed away in 2020 and Keziah supported the family through her illness, treatment, death and the aftermath. I know her, she's lovely, she'd be more than happy to chat with you over DM, I'm sure.

Sending love to you and the family

This sounds such a difficult situation and I think you sound like a wonderful family friend to step up to this role in the circumstances. The family are very lucky to have you.

I second approaching Winston's Wish.
I hope they will give you guidance.
Is the children's father on board with helping the children to manage their grief (and the memory of their mother), or is he (understandably) lost in his own grief.
Perhaps you could gently point him towards Winston's Wish too so that you can come up with some strategies together which will work for the family.