His mum died in January, today would have been her birthday.
What no one else realises (dps brother, dp's mums partner) is how traumatic it was finding her. It was me and dp found her.
To go into detail about how much this affects us, in particular him, seems pointless given the sadness everyone feels. But it was awful.
I think she had passed when we got there, but 999 person still talked us through cpr and made dp do cpr on his mum who was already going cold at this point. The gurgling noise it made when he was doing it still haunts him and probably always will.
And from a personal level, its the worst thing ive ever gone through in my life, but i cant even really say that to anyone as it was so muxh worse for dp, it feels selfish to talk about how his mum dying affected me.
I've not even ever been able to explain to my mum about it as she doesny understand.
Would a gp be able to give dp closure about it all? I feel strongly that she was already gone when we got there, but what haunts dp is that by doing cpr, that he killed her. I cant relieve that worry as i dont know enough to explain why that isnt true.
Would a gp be able to get records from ambulance service to relieve some of those worries?