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Bereavement

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How to support dp

2 replies

ChatterMonkey · 05/11/2021 23:34

His mum died in January, today would have been her birthday.

What no one else realises (dps brother, dp's mums partner) is how traumatic it was finding her. It was me and dp found her.

To go into detail about how much this affects us, in particular him, seems pointless given the sadness everyone feels. But it was awful.

I think she had passed when we got there, but 999 person still talked us through cpr and made dp do cpr on his mum who was already going cold at this point. The gurgling noise it made when he was doing it still haunts him and probably always will.

And from a personal level, its the worst thing ive ever gone through in my life, but i cant even really say that to anyone as it was so muxh worse for dp, it feels selfish to talk about how his mum dying affected me.

I've not even ever been able to explain to my mum about it as she doesny understand.

Would a gp be able to give dp closure about it all? I feel strongly that she was already gone when we got there, but what haunts dp is that by doing cpr, that he killed her. I cant relieve that worry as i dont know enough to explain why that isnt true.

Would a gp be able to get records from ambulance service to relieve some of those worries?

OP posts:
ChatterMonkey · 05/11/2021 23:36

Its something that affects me everytime they talk on tv about how everyone should know cpr. Which rationally i know makes sense, but part of me thinks that sometimes its not going to help, and the procees of attempting it makes dealing with the loss 100x worse.

OP posts:
Newuser82 · 15/11/2021 19:42

Ah that’s so sad. I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t see why a gp/the ambulance service wouldn’t be able to talk to you and your partner to (I’m pretty sure by the sounds of it) set both your minds at rest. Why don’t you contact them and see? I can only imagine the trauma of all that and I really hope you both manage to find some peace x

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