How long does the process take.

[KeeG8181]

My grandma was told on 10th sept she had terminal cancer and wouldn't see Christmas. On the 1st October she was really ill vomiting and severe weakness and my mum was told to tell the family as it could be days. They put her on a morphine driver and a hospital bed in the living room.

Well she perked up! She's had days of lucidity, has sips of drinks and yoghurt to eat and then sleeps for days. The noisy breathing starts then stops and its just agonizing to see. She must be so uncomfortable and fed up she's wasting away. She's seen her husband- my grandad and my dad who passed away in 2017 and 2015 and had a night last week where she wanted to phone all the family. We thought it would be then, but she didn't want to go.

I'm on edge constantly waiting for a phone call and I'm just wondering does anyone have any experience with end of life? Is this normal? I'm worried she's in pain but I think the morphine will be stopping that. I love my gran and it's killing us seeing her so frail and unwell.

It's awful watching your loved one like this.
My mum held on for weeks and weeks😪
The Priest came and gave her the last rites and we were all around her bed. The next day she asked for a whisky.
I stayed in the care home for 16 nights sleeping on a chair.
She kept holding on for some reason. Her pulse started to get weaker and we knew it wouldn't be long. She waited until her 6 children were around the bed and passed away peacefully. 😪😪. She had dementia and kept asking for her mammy. She told us her mammy was here that's when my sister told her to go with her. She died with a massive smile on her face 😪😪😪
My mum hadn't had fluids for 9 days before she passed.
Take care of yourself @KeeG8181

It must be an elderly thing! I have to laugh as it's so typical for my gran, all these visitors but she won't bloody go with them!

It's agonising isn't it but I'm so glad your mum had that comfort as she began her next journey. Xx

It can take a while, with ups and downs, but there's no real way of knowing. When dad was poorly, I thought it would be much quicker. I ended up sleeping at the hospice for three/four nights after the 'it will be very soon now' message.

Everyone is really different but it she’s sleeping for days I would imagine it won’t be long. Once my dad was on the morphine driver he died within a week. Each day he slept more and once he stopped talking and opening his eyes it was a couple of days. He wasted away and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch, though I’m glad I was with him.
I’m sorry you’re going through it. I hope she doesn’t suffer and goes peacefully.

My dad had a driver for about a month, he was very unwell before that but rallied once it was in. He was bright and lucid (although got noticeably weaker) until the day he died.
It was a matter of hours once he was unconscious.
It’s such a tough time, for you.

It can vary a lot I'm afraid. I'm sorry, it's a very odd time when every time you kiss someone you love good night you hope they won't wake up in the morning. But whenever you can do the tiniest thing to help them it means so much.