Christmas.

[Whereismylatte]

It's actually the second Xmas since I lost my dad, but I am not coping with the idea of just doing the whole festive thing. What do I do. I have a young family but I think I need to get away over xmas

It'll only be my first Christmas, but I'm already worried about it too.
And like you I don't think I'll quickly get back to a happy Xmas next year either! Hard isn't it.

My second one since I lost my dad. I'm dreading it l. I have older children one won't be with me Christmas Day. Really can't be bothered I feel numb

I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer in the September 15 years ago. We all dreaded that first Christmas because Dad loved it sooooo much. But it was such a lovely day. We went to the cemetery first thing in the morning and there was a truly beautiful atmosphere there. It was amazing to see so many people there paying their respects but also acknowledging each other because we were all there for the same reason. The Day wasn't as noisy and bustley like it was before he died but it was a perfect day. I think because we all dreaded it so much it was actually better than we had anticipated. We still set a place for him at the table and raised a toast to him. Yes, it was painful at times but we got through it.

Thanks for the replies

I think for me this year the show will go on and I'll do as I always have as a mum, but it will be a show and not what I feel. I will try and think of it as doing it for my mum, as a mum myself. Everything else is out the window - I don't want to celebrate for me, and won't be going to the work night out or anything. I just don't want any of it.

But I think it's different for everyone. I hope you can make a plan you feel at least ok about. I'm sorry to hear your in-laws are not helpful.

Hello, OP. Been meaning to comment on your thread for a few days now, sorry about that. Just wanted to reach out to you. I feel exactly the same. This will be a second Christmas for me without my dad and my heart is still completely broken. I am throwing myself into other Christmassy things and determined to have a lovely time with my toddler, but not needing to buy my dad a gift is hurting me so much. Really feeling it this month as it is his birthday too. Lots of love to you xx

If you have young children then the show goes on for them.

I lost mum on 17th December last year to Covid & her funeral was Christmas Eve, so last year I hid in my bed & hubby just kept bringing me food. My daughters are all grown up & have children of their own, so in the days leading up to Christmas I dropped all their presents off at the door for them. This year I say I am participating in Christmas for the grandchildren but am not celebrating it myself. So again in the days before I will go to their houses with their presents & spend time with the kids, but the day itself will just be hubby & I , where he will just follow my lead on how I am feeling. Sending you massive hugs xx