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Bereavement

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My lovely grandad passed away this morning.......

26 replies

TheIceQueen · 11/12/2007 14:22

and I just feel numb at the moment. We've been expecting it he's been very ill for a long time, but just not sure how I feel really.

My parents are here with us today (pre-planned - after they'd visited him in Bristol over teh weekend - it's my mum's dad) and its just so strange - instead of sat laughing about people forgetting wedding anniversaries (DH today...) we're discussing funeral dates

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dingdongMegaLegsonhigh · 11/12/2007 14:24

QofQ - I am so sorry. It is our wedding anniversary today and I lost my lovely Godfather this morning. Know what you mean about numb.

Take care x

TheIceQueen · 11/12/2007 14:25

so sorry to here about your Godfather dingdong.

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littleboo · 11/12/2007 14:25

really sad to hear this, take care of yourself and family.

camillathechicken · 11/12/2007 14:27

am very sorry to hear that... even when someone is old and poorly, it is still a terrible shock and sense of loss when they pass away... x

my condolences to you icequeen and megalegs

lulu xx

Divvy · 11/12/2007 14:34

Sorry to hear your news.

It may sound silly, but as you were special to him maybe he picked this day.

He did hang on till he saw ds3, which was very special for you all xx

NAB3littlemonkeys · 11/12/2007 14:34

So sorry for you both.

TheIceQueen · 11/12/2007 16:47

Thanks everyone - you know you could be right Divvy. I've been sat with my parents this afternoon showing the photos and short video that we took when we took DS3 down to see him a month or so ago.

I'm so glad we went down so he could meet DS3.

It feels strange - my parents were just going to drop the Christmas presents off - as we wouldn't be seeing them again until after Christmas. Instead when they left it was a "see you next week" .

The good thing is that although my parents left Bristol yesterday morning, his keyworker (who was supposed to finish at 10pm on Monday night) sat with him until 6.30am this morning - and then 2 other carers (that had worked the night shift) stayed on from 6.30 until he passed away - so he had someone with him the whole time. He adored his keyworker and I'm so glad that not only was he not alone when he went, but that it was people that he loved almost as much as his own family that were there with him.

Nearly broke down in tears at DS1's open evening at school though. I'd sort of "semi" put it out of my mind, sat down to look through his books - first of all found a little piece of writing about when we went down to see "great-gran dad" (his punctuation) and then further along a "family tree" - where he had granny, grandad, and great-gran dad on the top row .

Have to go and cook dinner now - I have 1 1/2hrs to cook some beef that should really be stewed for 2hrs+

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MerryAnnSinglemas · 11/12/2007 16:49

icequeen and dingdong

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 11/12/2007 16:51

Am so sorry QoQ (and Dingdong too). No matter how ill they are, we are never ready to actually lose them.

for you both.

LoveAngelGabriel · 11/12/2007 16:53

So sorry :-(

My grandmother passed away after a long bout of pneumonia - she was 87 and we could see her death coming - doesn't make it any easier, though, does it? Take time to grieve, don't bottle your feelings up. Losing someone you love dearly is always incredibly hard.

CarmenerryChristmas · 11/12/2007 16:54

Oh I am sorry

TheIceQueen · 11/12/2007 16:59

just want to share some of these photos we took at the start of November when we took DS3 for him to meet for the first (and only) time. He was such a lovely "cuddly" (apart from his stubble which I always hated as child, but grew to tolerate as I got older) man - but incredibly stubborn too.

whole album - including some non-related ones) ink{http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=19193&l=00571&id=730066781 his is my favourite

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Divvy · 11/12/2007 17:01

Aw, thats lovely xx

Whimsy · 11/12/2007 17:05

So sorry Icequeen and dingdong

LoveAngelGabriel · 11/12/2007 17:11

The pictures are lovely.They bought memories of my granny flooding back (tearful as I type )

I am really so, so sorry for your loss.

Your children are absolutely stunningly beautiful, by the way. The pictures of your grandad with your littlest one are especially lovely. Perhaps you could frame one of all of your together and put it up for Christmas? They are such beautiful pictures. And I know that will probably make you even more teary, but don't feel like you have to put a brave face on it, even in front of the kids. It's healthy for them to see that you loved him very much and are very sad that he has passed. xx

hazygirl · 11/12/2007 17:18

imso sorry hope you are ok ,its hard when someone u love dies so near to xmas, so sorryxx

TheIceQueen · 11/12/2007 21:26

LAG - I like that idea of framing one of the ones of us all together

It's strange - I'm really upset, but I have no tears, I was the same when my Gran died 3yrs ago, I was devastated, but never cried - feel like a freak....

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TheIceQueen · 12/12/2007 10:13

I just want to apologise for my use of the word "freak" - I woke up this morning and realised what an awful term I'd used. Hope I haven't offended anyone

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ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 12/12/2007 10:46

How could you have offended anyone? (Sorry forgot where we were for a mo - I suppose you could have but I would really doubt it!)

Hope you are feeling OK today.

MerryAnnSinglemas · 12/12/2007 10:53

IceQueen -what lovely pictures - I'm so glad you saw him with your youngest ds - my granny only saw my ds a few times - but the last visit was lovely,about 3 months or so before she died- he was coming up to 2 yrs.
She wrote to me afterwards to say how lovely to see him skipping around - I have kept the letter and it makes me feel happy and sad -she also remembers that he fell into the fishpond that day which was quite funny.

TheIceQueen · 12/12/2007 13:33

ASFWHT - I just realised that that word isn't really a very nice word to us, and I was (and still am) worried that I offended people, espeially mums of children with SN...

Still feeling sad, but at the same time "emotionless" (if that makes sense). I'm not sure I'm actually going to cry and losing him and I can't help thinking that makes me look like a heartless cow.

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ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 12/12/2007 13:41

I'm sure no-one was offended.

We all react to grief differently. You may not cry now but in a few weeks or months time something may trigger it. And that is normal too. You are not heartless or a freak - we all react differently.

Hulababy · 12/12/2007 13:41

So sorry We lost a grandma a couple of months ago, again expected due to illness, but yes, again, a sad shock when it finally happened.

Take care.

KittyLetteItSnow · 12/12/2007 13:41

so sorry

Pinkchampagne · 12/12/2007 13:51

So sorry for your loss. I lost my lovely nan in the summer, and I really miss her.
Your pictures are gorgeous.