I had forgotten but dp remembered , but does my body know and is that what is wrong?

[twinsetandpearls]

We had a miscarriage earlier in the year and I had not forgotten but had pushed it away.

Dp has been very difficult for the past week or so but thought it was because he was upset about the first Christmas without his parents, his mum died a few months back and his stepdad committed suicide just after.

But dp has admitted that the reason he is upset is because our baby would have been due at any time now and he would have been planning Christmas with our new baby and his first biological child. But he has also been grieving for the fact that his parents would have died without seeing the baby but also grieving for the hope that perhaps the promise of a first grandchild would have kept them alive. I feel awful that I did not realise this.

But it has been making me think I have been very under the weather and down for about a week, my body feels as if it is shutting down, I have had three days in bed unable to move about. I do suffer from depression so we thought that perhaps I was sliding back into another episode. But could it be that my body is reacting to the due date that never happened or is that just silliness.

I think it's entirely possible. Each year around this time I become slightly more moody and tense. My late dh's birthday was on the 15th and our anniversary is on the 17th. This is the first year i'm prepared for it and after the 17th I feel alot brighter usually as though a weight's been lifted. It's not a conscious thing, at least I don't think it is though obviously I know the date is coming up. That doesn't make an awful lot of sense does it? Anyway, I think it may well be linked to how you're feeling and a few days after the date has passed, you may well feel a bit better. take care x

You are making sense
I could understand feeling emotionally or mentally unwell but I am physically ill, although the two are linked.

I would guess it's very likely that you're subconsciously reacting to your anticipated due date, even if you thought you had pushed it away.

What an awful time for you both. I hope that you are able to connect together as a couple and help each other through it.

It seems strange saying "lots of love" to a stranger but that's what I want to say, IYKWIM. I hope that you're both feeling much better soon.

they go hand in hand imo, stressy headaches, tension, upset tummy etc.

Thankyou.

I feel awful that this date may have passed without me realising.

It has been an awful year and when I sit back and think about all that has happened, because there has been another event that I can't bring myself to discuss even on here it is no wonder that I am not right.

We are very close and I think we can help each other through it, very few people know about this miscarriage or the other event though.

Here's hoping 2008 is a much, much better year for you both then.

Without wanting to be pushy, do you think that talking about 'the other event' you allude to might bring some relief to how you're feeling at the moment?

I have spoken to dp about the other event. It involves finding something out about my childhood.

Oh dear. Sounds difficult.

With everything you both have to deal with would it help to talk to a friend? It's hard to know what's best when both of you are having a hrd time...to offload on each other or not. DH and I had a time where we were both having to talk about how horrible we felt whenever we got any time together. We've always had the policy that we'll talk about anything and everything but I did wonder during that time if we could have done with a break sometimes where we just went out and had fun, instead of having to discuss all the hard stuff.

Hope that you get a bit of un time, in the midst of all of this.

That would be 'fun' time.

tsap, I've followed one of your thread re the recent diagnosis you had (BPD) and I thought you came across as exceptionally brave. I've had mental meatlh probs in the past and I've been told by a very wise person that "we're only as sick as our secrets".

So, I think you've hit the nail on the head with realising this other thing really needs to be dealt with in order that your mental health improves.

I know I really suffer with the lack of light and I'm thinking of investing in a SAD light therapy lamp. Are you affected by this at all?

For me, trying to speak to someone; getting out at least once a day; setting small achievable goals and sticking to them are all practical things I can do in the days which seem really bleak.

PLease be kind to yourself, you've had a horrendous year.

I wish you strength in your journey.

Kokeshi what a lovely post. Have had a very hard day and you have given me a much needed warm glow. Thanks.